Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi I guess, I don't know what to write really and feel abit overwhelmed but I have been a reader for a few months now and want to attempt to engage. I am a 31 y/o male who is now seeking a diagnosis for asd and am the 'further assessment list' after a few visits to the GP.
I have always been a 'bit different' with very few friends across my life. I have had on and off very bad mental health 2014 was my darkest year with some serious suicide contemplation's. I still live my mother and dog. My younger seemingly NT brother moved out some time ago and is moving down south very soon. My father is estranged and I haven't seen him I believe since 2012. I have been lucky in some respects I have had a lot and love and support from my ever loving and patient mum! I started looking towards a direction in looking for a ASD diagnosis in a journey which involved a battle with alcoholism which started late in 2018. I have done well and I don't drink anymore and I have learned a lot about myself. A few people had put some things to me in regard to myself perhaps being on some sort of spectrum various times over the years and the work I have done on myself last year made me realise that yes things were beginning to make sense after much research predictably.
I have been in a job in the same workplace for many years I am extremely overwhelmed with long hours at the moment I hope I am well on the way to making a change I've had a few interviews lined up with one being today. I have became alot more self-aware and acknowledge and try to account for my limitations. I have a habit of speaking about myself and my issues but I struggle to still process my thoughts in an orderly fashion and miss things out which is why my introduction probably seems abit non-linear and fragmented.
My 'special interests' is football facts, weather and I am fond of driving up and down the country and visiting new places. My purpose of coming on here is to try and engage and pick up more and more knowledge and more coping strategies as well as hopefully trying to support others.
Thankyou for reading through all of this
Hi red dog.
I read through this and saw my own experience of life. I got diagnosed last yr at 30yrs old. And tbh all I have in life is my mum and my dog.
Autism has left me very lonely person coz people don't understand me. I've changed so many jobs over the years and they all get to me in the end.
I never turned to alcohol as such but had to have my weekend drunk sessions to forget how I feel. I have used drugs to numb the pain but all that did was give me a heart defect.
I've suffered with depression bad since i was 16 and noone ever got why, even tho I'd tell them I hate being different I'm always picked on for it I want to be normal and have normal friends. Due to my depression and a mental abuser of an ex I have tried to end my life but something always stops me from completing.
I know I should be happy I have the love and support of my mum. But sometimes u just need more.
Thanks for reading through it does seem our life paths have taken of a similar trajectory. Autism is very lonely sometimes and I find myself pushing people away as well at times. But I have started to see chinks of light upon my journey with overcoming my alcohol addiction, I have connected with a few people in my recovery environment and I'm slowly building structure to my life where there was none whatsoever before. There's alot to work on still but with a massive amount of effort I can see a world where life can become more manageable sometimes. I hope you can find your way Buddylove and find a way of making life more comfortable