Published on 12, July, 2020
My 16yr old girl has just been diagnosed.
Right now im feeling angry that it has taken so long just because she is a girl.
although i have supported her and kept her going this far im wondering how i now keep supporting her and help her move forward with her life
Anger is a natural reaction to being let down so I am sorry that you have been let down by the system. We are often overlooked because we are female and have different autism traits to males. How she moves forward and what support she will need depends on her baseline. You do not say whether she is high functioning or has ASD with other difficulties. I am now 60 and I am sorry to tell you that autism cannot be cured and does not get any better, and can be made more difficult with the ageing process. The most important thing is that both of you have a support mechanism. My parents are both dead and my support is my husband and my two boys. The first thing to remember is that with autism comes a different way of thinking not a disability. The disability comes from the difficulties that we have with our autism and co-morbid disorders - really hate that word but unfortunately that is what they are called. I am assuming that you live in the UK. Depending on the county in which you live autism services differ. As your daughter is 16 the first thing to think about is what does she/you (depending on cognition) want her to do next? Is she taking GCSE's? Do you know what the next step for her future will be? This is the start of your journey, not the end. The next step is to consider what she can do and build from there. The National Autistic Society can provide you with literature if you are not sure and you may or may not want her to join youth groups designed for autistics. I am autistic, have a degree and a masters degree, have taught for 38 years and am still teaching, have been married for 38 years and have two grown up sons so all is not lost because we are autistic. How we function and how we manage our difficulties, our strategies, our cognition, and who we have to support us in time of need is the key to how we achieve. I hope I have given you something to think about and if you have any specific questions I am happy to try to help with them.Remember, you have already achieved so much together because life for many of us is very hard. reallytired
What's it like raising a child on the spectrum?
Hello, welcome!
It took ages for me to be diagnosed as well, which was frustrating for my family and I. I'm sorry that you and your daughter have had such a long wait to get to where you are now. For some the diagnosis can be a relief while others feel more confused than ever, I did after my diagnosis. I expected it to feel like a weight off of me but it didn't. I just felt confusion.
Now that she has the diagnosis are there support groups you can reach out to? Also you may be able to get more help by seeing the GP, see what they can recommend for her.
I hope you can find something that will help you both. I'm sure there are others here who will be able to advise you better than I can.
Best of luck. Xx