Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi!
The user name comes from the fact I feel I constantly feel like I should be apologising for saying the wrong thing...even though it was the truth...just to spare peoples feelings...when i'm not really sorry!
Im a 38yo married female, with a professional career.
After what I now believe to be my first ever burnout or shutdown in March, I decided to seek a diagnosis to try to understand me better and hopefully for coping strategies so that never happens again.
My assessment is Friday and I'm super stressed about it!
I'm pretty certain that anybody I told even my suspicions to would be completely shocked as I've become an absolute expert at acting normal! Even my mum was fairly dismissive...she probably just thinks I'm depressed!
The only person who knows the 'real me' (and at that only about 90% or he'd run a mile), is my husband. We've been together 23 years. He knows I'm completely bonkers, and God knows how...but seems to love me anyway!
Anyway...just saying hi!
Hi! Welcome to the forum :) I hope your assessment went well.
Most people just think I'm a bit quirky, but my partner gets to see the real (bonkers) me :)
I'm waiting for my assessment and really hope I don't have to wait too much longer - it's been over a year now.
welcome and tell us how it went. Your husband is a nice guy clearly ! "Who wants to be normal?" Picasso said that when people said he was Bonkers :)
hello and welcome!
Obviously you have suffered some form of shutdown to cope with Stress and Trauma (such as something happened not necessary physical) as a mechanism to carry on.
Whether you may be on the autistic spectrum only a specialist would determine this.
Others who have posted advice before indicate links for self diagnosis. This may stress you more seeking to match symptoms.
I am not autistic, but I am one of two statemented needed Unpaid Parent Carers of Last Resort for our severely autistic son now aged 37.
Over the past 5 decades of starting excessive striving own business overwork exhaustion problems. I have myself experienced 3 periods of breakdown.
Even My wife suffered one day out with my son something must have happened after years of Stress just coping.
She arrive home with no knowledge of where she had been involving buses and trains to a nearby city, and left all her shopping on a Bus. and had not been at an agreed meeting place. A Train Station.
She spent 3 days in Hospital with Amnesia. But that memory was gone for good, as a way of coping I presume with something related to my son's behavior.
Even today as I was engrossed in a news paper on hearing "Look Out" turning to the anticipated danger, I caught an empty beaker in the eye as he had seen an opportunity to lob it at me not looking as he entered the room.
You have empathy with others feelings not wanting to upset them. this on its own Indicates to me you care, Others like my son would not have any empathy, or seek the need to be "normal and socialise". The only have their own interests at heart.
However the fact that you have developed a form of repetitious behavior, "Sorry not Sorry" as a means to cope with the stress of your communicating actions, or others you may just do - I will say this is an autistic spectrum behavior. I have 37 years of direct autism experience.