Hi i am a newbie

hi maria71.  Sometimes the more people there are in a house the more difficult it can be, especially to stick to a routine.  I was a single mum with my son until he was 9.  Sometimes you don't even realise you have a routine, but looking back we did. If his routine was disrupted, sometimes because I didn't "get it", he'd get really upset.  As he didn't talk till he was 5 I couldn't work out sometimes what the matter was.  Also he didn't + still doesn't like others disrupting his routine or his "me time".  He does respond to rewards, as long as they're good enough, of course!  I also know what it's like when a partner disagrees with things.  Talk about being stuck between 2 stools.  Seems to make it 10 times worse.  End up trying to educate your partner/husband on top of everything else.  More stress.  I think calendars, pictures, anything that your son can look at day to day so he knows what his day will consist of is useful.  I know all this is easier said than done.  A normal household (to us) can be chaotic to a person with asd......so much going on, so many unpredictable things.

Hi Dan's mum

I know the war zone feeling my hubby and son fight like mad drives me crazy feel so stuck in the middle .I just wish someone could come along show me how to have a calm house and then that would all be happy days . It would be great to catch up with you at some point.

Hi Crystal

My son was has only been going to chams for 8 months, he was always difficult from a early age hated the work no and people used to say he was a very naughty boy and i should learn to control him better. Lucky for him one of his teachers at his current school noticed something wasnt right with his behaviour and helped me puch for a cams app. He seems to go out of his way to cause fights with his sisters, he is very head strong and if he fells he is right on a subject he will go on and on till i feel like banging my head against the wall. I am not coping very well with him and i know that people have told me to give him a routine which works for a week then he wont do anything off it again . It only says things like bedtimes, clean teeth, school unifrom etc etc. I just feel like i am fighting a losing battle and really dont know what i am doing wrong .

Hi Maria71. I have a son aged 15 who was only diagnosed this year even though he has had the 'symptoms' since he was 4. Our house has been a bit like a war zone for years. When he was diagnosed in January, things changed a lot for us as a family. We finally found out what makes him happy and what sets him off. We are still learning how to calm him down but are making progress. There is not so much fighting now. We found out that he really had a problem with feeling like he was not being listened to. He felt he was not being listened to by anyone in his life. So i got in touch with Senco at school, talked to grandparents and explained that his biggest beef was feeling like he was not being listened to. The school have made some changes, it's not wonderful, but it's a whole lot better than it used to be.

hi maria71.  Welcome to the site.  Perhaps you could let us know a bit more about your child with aspergers + why your house is crazy?  I think we all understand the need for a bit of peace.  Please post again.  I'm sure there'll be a number of helpful replies.

bw