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Help with autistic partners mood swings and meltdowns

NAS65141

Hello

My partner has autism we have been living together for 2 years but we have been having a few relationship problems in terms of meltdowns and mood swings. My partner doesn't communicate with me problems he is having and I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any strategies to deal with this.

Parents

  • First of all your partner isn't having "mood swings" and "meltdowns" the most appropriate term is "Autistic Breakdown" the least you can do is give your partner space when they are having one; especially if you don't know what you are doing or if you fear your actions might make the breakdown worse.  

    Allow the breakdown to subside; let your partner recover from it and; the most appropriate thing you can do is ask them what triggers the breakdowns; listen to them and then act accordingly; help prevent these breakdowns in the first place because it's not good for them, you, or your relationship; and be as loving and as understanding as you possibly can in the event of the breakdown.

    If the partner see's you or the relationship itself as the cause of these breakdowns; (I am speaking from experience) then  re-evaluate your relationship with them; re-evaluate how you treat them when they are not having a breakdown; re-evaluate your interactions with them.

    I am appalled you actually called them "mood swings" and "meltdowns" you are talking about a special needs person; not someone who is mentally ill.  I'd also re-evaluate why you got with someone on the Autism Spectrum in the first place.  If your partner isn't communicating with you; there's a good reason for it other than the fact the are on the Autism Spectrum.

  • in reply to NAS35030

    Hello. My wife is autistic, and she is a therapist. She is completely okay with the term "meltdown." Classically, this is what they are called, according to her. She reads clinical and anecdotal books on autism constantly, and this is her stance. No offense is intended when using that term. Even I felt it was offensive at first, and had trouble using the word. My therapist as well sees the term as normalized and not offensive because many autistic people use the term themselves.

    I'm sorry to see that you are appalled but that just doesn't make sense as all of my exposure to the autism community has not rejected or shown any dissatisfaction with the term. I really think that you could've given this questioner a break and not jumped on their case for using the term.

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  • in reply to NAS35030

    Hello. My wife is autistic, and she is a therapist. She is completely okay with the term "meltdown." Classically, this is what they are called, according to her. She reads clinical and anecdotal books on autism constantly, and this is her stance. No offense is intended when using that term. Even I felt it was offensive at first, and had trouble using the word. My therapist as well sees the term as normalized and not offensive because many autistic people use the term themselves.

    I'm sorry to see that you are appalled but that just doesn't make sense as all of my exposure to the autism community has not rejected or shown any dissatisfaction with the term. I really think that you could've given this questioner a break and not jumped on their case for using the term.

Children
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