Dear Read.
Timing is everything in my life and I see myself as the white rabbit perpetually looking at his pocket watch and running off. Then burnout!
I am in my early thirties, married, training for a career change and moving to a new area. All these are stressful enough in an NT life but in my case, I feel as though I have to play catch up with what I haven't learned in my early life. This is exhausting.
I want to prove I can perform out there. To be an adult. In truth, I've fallen off the bike many times without learning how or why driving my depression and anger. I have to rely on my wife and others to do those "adult" duties for me. There are many times I find this demeaning as I feel the responsibility, patience and trust is being taken away from me. As if I'm a child all over again.
All these feelings I understand come from my anxiety and fear that everyone doesn't have the time or patience to come down to my level. As the world is steaming ahead, while I'm left behind. I feel quite bitter writing this now as I feel this is an injustice to me from the world I'm living in. Yet the popular and private consensus seems to be "Stop playing as the victim. Get rid of the victim mentality and see it as a superpower."
I ask "How? What is my superpower? Are my expectations in the world too high? Is my cynicism unjustified? Am I a villain?"