Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm returning on here as really struggling with the fact that I'm self diagnosed, waiting for the full diagnosis type assessment (I'm a year into a 18 month wait), unsurprisingly finding it very difficult. I'm fast approaching 40 back to living with my mum following a emotionally abusive relationship that left me destitute. I have no sense of self although going by past experiences I wouldn't class my self as a bad person through and through but I'm not a particularly good person either. The human condition dumbfounds me, I talk and people laugh but I have no idea why they're laughing. I still hate answering the door yet some people out there find it quite natural to answer the door and not consumed with anxiety. Life is hard so this is why I'm back on here, I'm really struggling and if it turns out I'm not on the autistic scale I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to cope with that possible eventuality. Truth is I'm scared of life and feel like I'm failing at it. Not sure how to turn it all around either.
take up meditation it helped me.
Thanks yes do need to remember to do it keep forgetting xx
what sort do u do may i ask ? eg guided / mantra / following breath / focus on object
Thanks! I think meditation is vital really does help clear the mind. I may try a mantra too may try a positive affirmation, my favourite at the moment is 'I am safe, I am loved'. I find it helps bring me out of the negative ruminating I do too much of. It all sounds really positive :)