Hello !

I'm returning on here as really struggling with the fact that I'm self diagnosed, waiting for the full diagnosis type assessment (I'm a year into a 18 month wait), unsurprisingly finding it very difficult. I'm fast approaching 40 back to living with my mum following a emotionally abusive relationship that left me destitute. I have no sense of self although going by past experiences I wouldn't class my self as a bad person through and through but I'm not a particularly good person either. The human condition dumbfounds me, I talk and people laugh but I have no idea why they're laughing. I still hate answering the door yet some people out there find it quite natural to answer the door and not consumed with anxiety. Life is hard so this is why I'm back on here, I'm really struggling and if it turns out I'm not on the autistic scale I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to cope with that possible eventuality. Truth is I'm scared of life and feel like I'm failing at it. Not sure how to turn it all around either.

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  • Thanks! I think meditation is vital really does help clear the mind. I may try a mantra too may try a positive affirmation, my favourite at the moment is 'I am safe, I am loved'. I find it helps bring me out of the negative ruminating I do too much of. It all sounds really positive :) 

  • everyday ....

    i do "following breathe" 10 mins

    then mantra for 10mins  ( Sa Ta Na Ma )  

    then "following breathe" for 10 mins again

    during each i wear headphones that play white noise for 10 mins ( on mp3player )

    occasionally i do a guided ( meet your inner self ) if I have a question to answer.

    i dont have a phone otherwise i probably would have used headspace 

  • Really sorry for late reply, ive been following the headspace app! I think its guided, which do you do and like the best?