Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I'm new so I thought I'd introduce myself. I'm in my mid-30s, living in Scotland. For most of my adult life I've suspected I might be autistic, but only recently decided to speak to my GP about getting a referral.
It wasn't until getting my first job a few years ago, that I started having major difficulties. Working in an open plan office is something I've never got used too, particularly when it gets noisy, plus the lighting. And it took me too long to figure out all the unwritten socials rules that I'd ended up rubbing up many of my colleagues up the wrong way.
Anyway at the time I got a referral from my GP to an audiologist and got diagnosed with Auditory Processing Disorder, as sound was one of the bigger issues I struggled with. Though I kind of regret just not seeking an autism diagnosis back then as it would have been easier knowing one way or the other.
But now that I have finally spoken to my GP about an autism assessment referral, it feels like being stuck in between. Even though I feel reasonably sure from everything I've read about ASD, I don't know for certain. So still working out what to do with that self-knowledge, if that makes any sense.
This has been more rambly than I intended!
Welcome, pegasus.
I get what you're saying about feeling like you're a bit in limbo at the moment; I was like that when I was waiting for my referral. It's quite common that people get a bit of "imposter syndrome" while they're waiting (and sometimes a bit even after their diagnosis).
But it doesn't matter to us here whether you have a formal diagnosis or not; it's all about the experiences that we have in common, not the labels, and you'll be made just as welcome.
Best wishes.
Thanks. Imposter syndrome is definitely a bit of it. I'm pretty certain that my experiences are similar to everything I've read about ASD, and the various youtubers I've watched. My only doubts have been around whether my difficulties could be explained by anything else instead. I've accumulated a few diagnoses over the years as different doctors/psychiatrists haven't been consistent in what diagnosis they've given. Though ASD would be simpler than trying to cobble together various sensory processing, anxiety and personality disorders to cover everything.
Though I also get uncomfortable using labels about myself unless I know its exactly right. Even years after having the auditory processing diagnosis, I still feel uncomfortable trying to explain to people that I find hearing difficult in some situations, as my hearing is technically physically fine, but my attempts to explain the difference between auditory processing and hearing tends to result in confusion.