34, diagnosed yesterday, hello!

Hi Fraiselongue, it's been interesting to read your post and the threads. The people on this forum are incredibly supportive and offer different viewpoints and opinions which is always useful. I'm female 34 who is self-recognised.  Ive been "aware" for almost three years.

I've "come out" to my manager that I identify with many traits in the spectrum, she was very supportive. I can't bring myself to speak to my parents about it. They're old school and when Chris Packham was on TV the other week my mum being my mum said "what's that thing that he's got wrong with him?!" I tried to educate her a bit but it went in one ear and out the other.

I braved it with a close friend last week and we did have a really good conversation and laughed a lot but i felt like I had to constsntly justify each reason why I thought I was AS as he said "oh well I do that too". I also found itdifficult to verbalise everything in my head. 

Do you feel validated now you have your diagnosis? After the conversation with my friend I'm leaning more to seeing my GP about it properly (I have mental health problems alongside). What made you seek diagnosis? I feel like it would give me closure one way or another and that i couldnt really tell anyone else without this proper backup. (That's assuming postive diagnosis obviously) But I don't like labels and not sure if I want one as I've got this far in life already.

I think if i got a diagnosis i guess also there are some people who woukdnt really need to know so I wouldn't tell them. 

Hi, thanks for posting. 

What you said about sharing traits with friends is very familiar. I had 13 years of being fairly sure I had AS but whenever I suggested it to other people they would say "lots of people do that" and it was very invalidating. I never had a good enough relationship with my bosses to share it with them so I'm glad you had a positive experience there.

As you say, you often hear people talk about autism as a problem or disability so it makes it very hard to talk about. When my cousin was diagnosed a few years ago the family were so horrible about it.

For me, the trigger for getting diagnosed was partly that my sensory issues were getting really bad, and partly because an online friend got a diagnosis and seemed so happy. I looked into the NHS route, tried to get an appt with the GP and couldn't even manage that as you had to phone on the day then wait for a call back. So then I looked into private options and as my husband is a psychologist he was able to verify that it was all above board. It cost a lot of money but luckily we're very frugal so have savings.

I was always scared of a diagnosis but I suppose even if/when you get one you only have to share it with people you choose to share it with. At the centre I used, you can pay a smaller amount of money for an initial assessment where they say if it's likely you are on the spectrum. That might be an option if you're unsure.

For me though I always felt so uncomfortable researching it before I was diagnosed. I'm very rule-based, so when I see a forum for people with autism I feel like I'm breaking the rules being on it, if that makes sense.

You're right that people see it as a disability or problem but I think that's because there isn't enough awareness of it. You must be brave if you've always been scared of getting a diagnosis but took the plunge anyway. It's interesting when you say about your online friend, because I think that's how people on the spectrum can often relate to others.  I don't know anyone in real life I could share it with as they are either not on the spectrum and/or don't know enough about it. So a lot of the time it's all up there in my head swimming around.

I've really enjoyed researching it. It's like I've not been able to get enough of it although I hide any books I've purchased. Maybe I should leave them lyingaround as a talking point if my parents come round?! Im wondering if it has been a specisl interest although it has petered out slightly as a lot of stuff about women seems like it's repeated. This forum has been valuable for opinions of people with and without diagnosis (thank you all), but Im sure now you can dive in and take part safe in the knowledge you are officially on the spectrum! 

Which area of the UK did you get your private assessment? The initial assessment sounds like something I need

GM here too. 

I've only ever skyped my husband when he's been away and I had to turn it off as I got so distressed by the time lag and the picture going off!

Thank you. I suspect the next few weeks I might have lots of realisations. I'm hoping to one day reach a point where I don't think I'm rubbish at everything. Might take a while though!

I think you need a friend request first for private messages. Unfortunately I can't work out how to do it, there don't seem to be any links anywhere to request. I'm based in the North West too, in Greater Manchester. I will check out Spectrum North West.

I don't know if I'd like to use Skype.  I struggle talking to one of my closest friends on it never mind a stranger doing a formal assessment. 

All the best with understanding yourself and recent diagnosis. 

I think you need a friend request first for private messages. Unfortunately I can't work out how to do it, there don't seem to be any links anywhere to request. I'm based in the North West too, in Greater Manchester. I will check out Spectrum North West.

I don't know if I'd like to use Skype.  I struggle talking to one of my closest friends on it never mind a stranger doing a formal assessment. 

All the best with understanding yourself and recent diagnosis. 

GM here too. 

I've only ever skyped my husband when he's been away and I had to turn it off as I got so distressed by the time lag and the picture going off!

Thank you. I suspect the next few weeks I might have lots of realisations. I'm hoping to one day reach a point where I don't think I'm rubbish at everything. Might take a while though!