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34, diagnosed yesterday, hello!

Fraiselongue

Hello,

I'm generally nervous about posting on forums and replying so I thought I'd throw myself in.

13 years ago, whilst having an awful time studying to become a teacher on a PGCE course, I read about ASD and realised that I had it. I took lots of online tests and was shocked to score so highly but never felt able to join in with the autistic community as I wasn't diagnosed and was too scared to seek a diagnosis.

Recently, we have been in a better position financially so my husband agreed we could invest in a private assessment (waiting lists are 2 years here). I was incredibly nervous beforehand but the two psychologists were lovely. The assessment was yesterday. It was exhausting so I've been in bed all day today, but finally having a diagnosis feels very good.

I have told a few people but I'm feeling anxious about sharing my diagnosis with some people as I fear a negative reaction. Either "don't be ridiculous" or "that's why you're such a ****". I'd be really interested to hear how people have shared their diagnosis and what the reactions were.

The worst I have had so far was "It's a good job you weren't diagnosed as a child as you would have been written off as disabled". My twitter friends on the other hand have either said "I hope they can help you now" (as in, you have a problem that must be fixed") or "Congratulations, now you can be you".

Thanks for reading 

Parents

  • Hi Fraiselongue, it's been interesting to read your post and the threads. The people on this forum are incredibly supportive and offer different viewpoints and opinions which is always useful. I'm female 34 who is self-recognised.  Ive been "aware" for almost three years.

    I've "come out" to my manager that I identify with many traits in the spectrum, she was very supportive. I can't bring myself to speak to my parents about it. They're old school and when Chris Packham was on TV the other week my mum being my mum said "what's that thing that he's got wrong with him?!" I tried to educate her a bit but it went in one ear and out the other.

    I braved it with a close friend last week and we did have a really good conversation and laughed a lot but i felt like I had to constsntly justify each reason why I thought I was AS as he said "oh well I do that too". I also found itdifficult to verbalise everything in my head. 

    Do you feel validated now you have your diagnosis? After the conversation with my friend I'm leaning more to seeing my GP about it properly (I have mental health problems alongside). What made you seek diagnosis? I feel like it would give me closure one way or another and that i couldnt really tell anyone else without this proper backup. (That's assuming postive diagnosis obviously) But I don't like labels and not sure if I want one as I've got this far in life already.

    I think if i got a diagnosis i guess also there are some people who woukdnt really need to know so I wouldn't tell them. 

Reply

  • Hi Fraiselongue, it's been interesting to read your post and the threads. The people on this forum are incredibly supportive and offer different viewpoints and opinions which is always useful. I'm female 34 who is self-recognised.  Ive been "aware" for almost three years.

    I've "come out" to my manager that I identify with many traits in the spectrum, she was very supportive. I can't bring myself to speak to my parents about it. They're old school and when Chris Packham was on TV the other week my mum being my mum said "what's that thing that he's got wrong with him?!" I tried to educate her a bit but it went in one ear and out the other.

    I braved it with a close friend last week and we did have a really good conversation and laughed a lot but i felt like I had to constsntly justify each reason why I thought I was AS as he said "oh well I do that too". I also found itdifficult to verbalise everything in my head. 

    Do you feel validated now you have your diagnosis? After the conversation with my friend I'm leaning more to seeing my GP about it properly (I have mental health problems alongside). What made you seek diagnosis? I feel like it would give me closure one way or another and that i couldnt really tell anyone else without this proper backup. (That's assuming postive diagnosis obviously) But I don't like labels and not sure if I want one as I've got this far in life already.

    I think if i got a diagnosis i guess also there are some people who woukdnt really need to know so I wouldn't tell them. 

Children
  • in reply to Deleted User

    Hi, thanks for posting. 

    What you said about sharing traits with friends is very familiar. I had 13 years of being fairly sure I had AS but whenever I suggested it to other people they would say "lots of people do that" and it was very invalidating. I never had a good enough relationship with my bosses to share it with them so I'm glad you had a positive experience there.

    As you say, you often hear people talk about autism as a problem or disability so it makes it very hard to talk about. When my cousin was diagnosed a few years ago the family were so horrible about it.

    For me, the trigger for getting diagnosed was partly that my sensory issues were getting really bad, and partly because an online friend got a diagnosis and seemed so happy. I looked into the NHS route, tried to get an appt with the GP and couldn't even manage that as you had to phone on the day then wait for a call back. So then I looked into private options and as my husband is a psychologist he was able to verify that it was all above board. It cost a lot of money but luckily we're very frugal so have savings.

    I was always scared of a diagnosis but I suppose even if/when you get one you only have to share it with people you choose to share it with. At the centre I used, you can pay a smaller amount of money for an initial assessment where they say if it's likely you are on the spectrum. That might be an option if you're unsure.

    For me though I always felt so uncomfortable researching it before I was diagnosed. I'm very rule-based, so when I see a forum for people with autism I feel like I'm breaking the rules being on it, if that makes sense.