Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello
I am the mother of a 25 year old male who has Aspergers. We are in the lengthy process of getting a formal diagnosis. It is some comfort to discover there is a reason for his struggles after many years of ignorance on my part but I know that when/if we have a formal diagnosis, it won't make the problems and difficulties he has disappear.
My son is at an all time low. He has struggled all his life to make and retain friends and to be and to feel included. Employment has been a similar story.
I'm posting on here because he won't do it for himself and I feel helpless and powerless when I see him so unhappy with all aspects of his life.
He has tried to fit in with the mainstream and he can't. He needs friends, people to talk to, do things with. People who understand.
We are based in Surrey/London area.
If anyone knows of a support group he could go along to in our area or if you are in need of a friend too please get in touch.
Thanks
I notice the age of this post, I was curious how your son is coping now? I am 29 years old and, despite desperately seeking the approval of the NTs around me, suffer from almost constant depression if I am to be honest. It varies from very mild and functional, to just wanting to sit in front of the TV (when not working of course!) watching re-runs of favourite shows on DVD. So I understand totally where you are coming from with the difficulty for him to meet and retain friends. I only have 3 people from university who actually still are happy to spend time with me and although they live quite a distance from me it is a comfort to know they are on the other end of the phone if needed. Especially as sometimes conversations flow more freely with peers than parents! Has he subscribed to Aspergers United? It is a really good resource especially as you live in the South East as there are quite a few support groups down there (they get a little sparse up here in the hills!). They also do a Pen Pals section where he can get to know people through writing to them first. I know I personally find written communication easier than verbal, probably because body language is lost on me, and the written word has fewer nuances and can be more straightforward.
Anyway, I hope this message finds you and your son well, let me know if I can help at all with advice and/or someone to chat to who is going through similar life experiences.