Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi there. I don't want to offend anyone with this post but I don't know where else to ask. I am 53 and have met a new 'boyfriend' 6 weeks ago and to be honest he has touched me on a level so deep that I cannot begin to explain how I feel about him. However, from the beginning I realised that he seemed slightly strange and a couple of weeks ago he told me that he has high functioning autism. He seems to have difficulties recognising personal space and because of this my friends feel he is a letch I suppose. I know they are talking about him/us when I'm not there and I'm confused as to what to do.
I have to say that I am disappointed with myself as I thought I had a much more inclusive perspective but I am wondering if I am so worried about what my friends think am I really the sort of person my boyfriend needs.
I was wanting advice really about what I should do regarding going forward. I love him dearly but I also like my friends. I have tried explaining to some of them but they seem to think that I'm making excuses. Is it best to come up with a set of 'rules' that might mimic boundaries for him (like don't touch someone else's face) or is it best to forewarn my friends about such things or is it better to just let things happen as its who he is and apologise if needed.
He said the set of rules one but I feel really awkward saying this is what you have to do in this situation as it makes me feel really controlling which is not my normal way of doing things.
I'm confused and feel torn. If I could stay in a bubble with him it would be perfect lol
Also, on a different point, I struggle to discuss emotional stuff and one thing that has been a big help in my relationship is to discuss things via text. I can write down things that I cannot say. Not sure if you will need it, but a useful tool to be open with each other.
Thank you for that. We do chat a lot via message and I have found it quite useful. Also he seems to find it easier to talk more deeply if he doesn't look at me