I am a woman in her 40’s and I suspect my 10 year old son may have autism. I would have said Aspergers but realise that is no longer a diagnosis. I have been researching autism trying to decide if there would be any advantage in a having him diagnosed. I wonder if it would help him understand himself and who he is in the world more or if it would just be a label people misread. During my research it struck me quite unexpectedly that I am Autistic. Well I believe I am and wonder if a diagnosis would help me also. I have always wondered what the hell was going on with me in the world and realising I may be Autistic gave me a great feeling of relief and also a bit of grief for all the time wasted wondering what the hell was going on. Looking back it seems obvious now. I didn’t talk until I was 3 and then spoke in sentences. I’ve always been socially awkward and one of my worst fears in life is small talk. Anyway, I guess that’s it, I don’t want my son to wonder what’s “wrong” with him if a diagnosis could tell him what is different about him instead. Is a diagnosis helpful?
A lot of my anxiety has been down to not knowing why I suffered with life as I do. After two and half years battling with the NHS for an adult diagnosis I went private, and got a yes, its ASD answer. Massive relief as it now explains everything. Interesting thing is you don't identify with having sensory or other issues. many things discussed in my assessment went along the lines of "what about this?", "isn't everyone like that?", "No", "Oh...", or me saying I don't have that issue and them saying "when do you find yourself in that situation", and me saying "never, I always avoid it". I think if you have lived with it, you have either learnt to live with it and take it as normal or you have worked your life around your issues and managed it well, such as the masking thing. In terns of your son, I would go for it, as it is probably easier to get an assessment for a child than an adult if he then later finds this need to know, and may have bigger issues later on.
For you, that is down to you. I could not cope with not knowing. I like everything black and white, and had anxiety over my issues and wanted to work out why. Unfortunately the NHS weren't much help so I ended up having to go private which cost quite a bit...
Good luck with it all and stay positive.
That’s interesting what you say about sensory issues. I have always had sound issues in particular. Loud noise bothers me and I can’t understand what someone is saying if I can’t see their mouth. (Hearing tested apparently I am fine). My son also has sensory issues which I always put down to vision impairment but now am thinking otherwise. Thank you for your feedback. I am glad you found relief with your diagnosis.