Published on 12, July, 2020
I may as well change my name to that but here goes.
I'm 30, female, recently moved out from home and have severe social anxiety disorder. I come from an emotionally abusive background and this year finally decided to move.
I spent the earlier part of my 20s within mental health services being treated primarily for depression and severe social anxiety disorder. But one of the councillors at the time passed a comment that I'm probably on the spectrum somewhere saying it's like 'I'm talking to a five year old'.
Since then( when I was over the worst of my depression). I've been looking into all things high and low functioning autism. I spoke to my mother about it as she would be the best to assist in an assessment, but she wants nothing to do with it, so I've just been keeping quiet all this time.
I'm currently working from home after struggling in and out of jobs. But earning no where near enough to sustain living alone. Something I will face within a few years minimum. I feel like I'm in a constant downward spiral and I dont know what to do or where to turn anymore.
I just want to be able to function normally but I feel like all the doors are closed shut for me now. Sorry for typing all this I'm not even sure where I'm going with this anymore.
I feel like it's going to drag me back down to those dark days and I dont want to go back there anymore.
As a quote from kid me: today's the day I'll be happy and not cry. I'm still trying for that day.
Sorry to bother you all and thanks in advance for reading! It means a lot. ;u;
I've been in your situation so know how isolating and upsetting it can be, as well as how long it can take to work through all of this **** to become a happy and healthy individual. It sounds like your making lots of positive steps forward and are finally at the start of the way up. You've made all of these positive changes on your own, without a supportive background - you come across as an inspiring individual who has a lot of determination, drive and resilience.
In regards to your financial situation have you considered applying for PIP. In addition to the income, this would bring in you could apply for the disability premium of working tax credits, as well as the premium for housing benefit.
Although I only have the label of autistic now, I was originally mis-diagnosed with bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder and originally received PIP due to these labels and the impact they had on my day-to-day living.