Published on 12, July, 2020
As a child I was diagnosed as having dyspraxia, which means I have difficulty with information processing and motor-coordination. I now suspect that I was underdiagnosed, and that my processing deficit is comorbid, occuring along side a neurological disorder (ASD) that I consider to be the underlying factor for my other deficits.
I exhbit social deficits in speech that is similar to aphasia when I am anxious or experience cortisol stress, especially during severe depression. As a child I couldn't respond to questions, because I would be searching for what to say and how to say it - primary school was dreadful for me. Same for when having conversations. -- I am not a complete mute, but prefer not to speak unless I am familiar with the topic, and when I do speak it is not to have small talk, but to articulate an idea, or piece of insightful information related to the topic.
I have problematic symptoms when it comes to meldowns, as I have trouble regulating my emotions (although CBT seems to have helped). As I have an increased sensitivity to my surroundings, I have to close my eyes to regain equilibrium when overwhelmed when things flood in all at once; though I can't do this with noises.
Unique Sensibility to Environment:
Ever since I was a child I became aware of my capacity to sense aspects within an environment that I particularly find pleasurable in a deep foundational way.
Such as,
* Sense of being cocooned and isolated in a dark area of a museum
* Sound of water
* Outdoor environments, with combined aestetics (wood decking, long trees and heavy flowing water) based on my child memory at Disneyland
Those who are familiar with the YouTube channel - Primitive Technology will have a good sense of what I appreciate. Ten years ago I expressed a desire to want to pursue a career in nature photography and documentary filmmaking because of this need to be closer to nature, but resisted due to shifting interests towards design and engineering.
It does seem as though there are some traits that would point to ASD. Has your Doctor referred you for an Autism assessment yet?
I requested for an assessment last month, but felt rushed by the GP who hadn't asked me any questions. I had prepared a document outlining my symptoms and my AQ results which were in the 40s out of 50, but experienced aphasia and forgot to hand it to them. I got a response from the ASD clinic recently, that they require evidence and so I had to email them to the GP and hope they will forward them.