Hey everyone...new here, could do with some help.

Hi guys, 

I have no idea where to start with this and I could do with some help. I'm here because I've struggled all my life with what *I think* must be Asperger's. I don't have an official diagnosis, nothing concrete to go on. Over the past few months, I've worked through several online tests which suggest I may have Asperger's and I think I express many of the typical behavioural and social indicators. I think the penny dropped when I watched a documentary presented by Chris Packham a couple of years ago, in which he was discussing Asperger's. I sat there thinking, wow, I can relate to everything he is saying! Whatever is going on, I am incapable of making friends. I've had a small number of friends throughout my life but they have been and gone. I'm 34, I have a successful career, but no friends whatsoever. I get on well with colleagues although small talk makes me feel very uncomfortable. I'm socially awkward, but I think I generally mask this quite well.  I prefer to be on my own when the prospect of a social situation arises, but I can also feel very lonely. I guess my question is...what can I do to help myself? How do people deal with this? 

Thanks for reading. It would be great to hear back from someone. 

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  • Thanks raspberry and RSxo for responding :) RSxo that's a really nice summary, and yes, that's it raspberry - I can't maintain deeper friendships either. I don't feel able to connect others on anything but a very superficial level. This has been my life for as long as I can remember and it's suddenly dawned on me that I'm very lonely.  I've always felt more comfortable on my own but it's not how I want my life to be. I've been told that I'm friendly...someone yesterday even said I was delightful! I try to be friendly, to engage in small talk, but it's exhausting somehow. I don't know if the situation will ever change. I've done quite a lot of volunteering, but again, the friendships just don't take off even though I get on really well with people. I sometimes wonder if I'm emitting some negative vibes that make me come across as stand-offish or something. Obviously I have some sort of guard up, but no idea how to take it down when it's who I am. 

    Anyway, I'll keep smiling :) 

    Thanks for the welcome Bagpuss7. 

    It's good to meet you guys. 

  • Ahhh I really do think I understand.  I’m a nearly 32 female, only diagnosed a month ago, but I’ve been faking some sort of social-ness my whole life and come across “nice and friendly” (also very awkward ha ha) but I hold myself back and no one knows my true self.  It is very lonely yet the alternative is very scary so this lonely existence is easier! :(

  • Thanks raspberry...yeah, me too :( The lonely existence is easier isn't it?! Definitely know all about being awkward :-D I've gotten a lot better at faking social-ness, thinking back to how I used to be as a kid...so that's something but yes, it's all about projecting a different version of your true self. It's good to know I'm not alone!

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  • Thanks raspberry...yeah, me too :( The lonely existence is easier isn't it?! Definitely know all about being awkward :-D I've gotten a lot better at faking social-ness, thinking back to how I used to be as a kid...so that's something but yes, it's all about projecting a different version of your true self. It's good to know I'm not alone!

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