My son is getting expelled

Hi there 

my son has recently got a asd diagnosis, although I have been fighting for this since he was 3, he’s now 12. We have consistently coped with the struggle of school. Not wanting the uniform on due to the feel, others being to close, teachers voices etc .

i moved him to a primary school in year six to ease his transition into a state school with good sen support. He is coming to the end of year 8 now . Since the beginning he has struggled, he does not attend many lessons due to his anxiety and needing to use his ‘card’. The school have a daily battle to keep him in lessons and resource staff to be with him. He gets constant detentions for defiance.  We have put plan after plan in to ‘start again’. The school are done, I get a daily email report now offering a breakdown of his day. Making as many links to his behaviour as possible. They are putting together a paper trail of evidence to exclude. I recognise this as I have done similar in my job as a teacher.

i have asked what happens if they exclude, they would prefer a managed move, if we refuse their choice I assume we are without education. 

My son is desperate to stay in school and is frightened of getting excluded, compounding the anxiety and of course making the behaviour worse. It’s like a vicious cycle.

i have been alone in this for so long. I do not know anyone with an autistic child and it feels very scary and lonely.

my only option I feel is home Ed, but as a single mum with full financial responsibility it’s not feasible. I have to work.

just someone that knows how crap this is would be something. Even with a diagnosis I feel like it’s my fault somehow, it breaks my heart to see how my son suffers like this yet I’m frustrated with the situation.

anyway any advice would be great right now. Thank you