From "professional" to "autistic"... where do I go now?

Have my questions annoyed you? I only asked as it's very difficult to give someone advice if you don't know their situation.

If you want to get back into work then it is all about finding a way of working that helps you. There are lots of options.

If working is too much for you at the moment then perhaps try and find a hobby that would take up your focus. 

I personally really struggle when I'm not in work as my brain just starts obsessing over negative things and I end up in a low place. I find I need something to keep my brain occupied.

I'm very good at pushing people away as well. I think it's to do with trust and self preservation.

I'm so sorry you had to leave your job I can't imagine how you must be feeling but you are on the best forum for moral support

Totally agree, we are in the same profession,  although different specialisms, I totally agree, I was and am competent at my job but being AS also comes with it a lack of self confidence probably due to years of  misunderstandings

I’m sorry to hear that you had to leave your job, what happened?

My diagnosis was made after I'd had to leave my job. Leaving my job was v difficult at that time.

I’m also in a helping profession and autistic. Getting a diagnosis can throw up a lot of self doubt about our ability to do our job. I guess in reality we’re no less able to do our job than we were prior to being diagnosed. I do still doubt myself though, should I really be doing this job when I’ve got all this neurological stuff going on? 

I agree that lists are great!!

I much prefer writing the 'to do' lists until they're neat and then I file them away!!! I mostly never actually do the 'things to do'!!!

I feel v isolated with this 'new' diagnosis. My family don't really 'get it' and tend to say "Don't be silly!" My cmht are stepping away. My autism counselling appointments are much less than monthly.

I am amazingly skilled at pushing people away though... I can create a reason to repel any help offered.

I cannot stand people getting close to me. Yet...

I think it's a trust thing!!?!

In answer to your questions..!

I worked for 13yrs in one job.

Yes, I struggled before my diagnosis. I was diagnosed 2yrs AFTER I chose to leave my job.

I am not happy with how things are now.

Any other questions!?!!

I did that - I've got millions of bits of paper and there's lots of things I can theoretically be excellent at - but I know I couldn't do it in the real world.

I became a technical specialist to avoid managing people.  I did it in the past but found it incredibly stressful dealing with all their odd behaviours.

Techy stuff doesn't lie or take fake sickies or have off-days depending on their mood.

I can certainly identify with what you said Teasel, up until my diagnosis a few years ago, I used to do training in my own time and my own expense to get more qualifications and improve to my skills, in the hope that it would lead to a better job etc, but my after my diagnosis and reading about autism, I realised that I had probably been wasting my time, as my autism related problems would prevent me from fully using the extra skills to get a much better job.  Since then I have focussed on trying to get round my autism related problems.

People - so commonly the problem with autism and the work place.

I guess it depends on how you feel now. If you wanted to get back into work there are many options. You don't have to follow the same career as you did before if you don't want to (you don't have to follow any career if you don't want to). With a diagnosis you can get reasonable adjustments. Some people opt to work from home or work shorter hours.

Whatever you decide to do, take your time. Don't rush yourself into something you are not going to be happy with.

I don't miss some of the people I was working with. Yes, I was struggling in my workplace... hence me choosing to leave... before I was then diagnosed...

Thank you.

My diagnosis is the underlying 'thing' that I've been unwittingly trying to tell people for yrs!!! For a decade I've been told it's 'depression and anxiety'.

My 'burn out' self seems to be reluctant to restart, yet again.

When your body physically stops, before you're mentally aware that's going to happen, mid work... in front of colleagues...

It's taking time x

What were you qualified to do out of interest? Were you struggling in work before you were diagnosed?

I see in another comment you have said you don't miss it. Do you not miss the job you were doing or do you not miss working?

Do you want to work again and just don't have the confidence or are you happy with how things are now?

Sorry for all the questions. I just find it easier to reply when I know more detail.

Thank you for replying x

I've now been out of my job for... 3 yrs... wow - time flies!! I completely lack the confidence to go back in to it. I don't miss it at all.

I'm sorry you feel like you have lost your confidence.

I'm sorry you feel unacceptable.

I'm professionally qualified too and I've not worked for 6+ years. Initially it upset me a lot. Initially I planned to go back. But actually I'd burned out too many times, I couldn't function in that environment long term. As the years have passed I've come to terms with the fact that I'm just unable to be well and work at the moment.

Getting my diagnosis has helped me understand why that is. Getting my diagnosis has helped me to understand myself. Getting my diagnosis has helped me to start to work out what I need in life to help me to function. Getting my diagnosis has helped me to work out what kind of things impair my ability to function.

I try to look at my diagnosis as a positive thing. Yes, my life is difficult. Yes, it's been 30 long years of misunderstood struggles. Yes, I can't be the professional, functioning, working adult I just thought I would be right now but that doesn't mean I'm unacceptable. It doesn't mean I'll never achieve those things again.

 I guess my suggestion is to perhaps try to focus on what positives there are or might be in the future. I know that can be difficult when things feel bad but I'm sure you have lots of positives. You were once a working professional so you have the potential to do so again. Don't let your diagnosis define you, you are still you.

Ok just looked at that, can see why you bought the Kindle ed instead.

www.amazon.co.uk/.../ref=sr_1_8

No its got to be paper I have kindle app on my tablet but hate it I love the experience of a book the pages the smell everything, I'll get it on Amazon New and used they are usually cheap.