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ASD

scrubber

Hi, I am a mother to a 21 year old who has a son of her own and lives independently. I also have two teenage daughters and a 9 year old son who has recently been diagnosed as having ASD. My husband and I have battled with our sons challenging  and violent behaviour since he was 18 months old. Although medication has helped calm our son our teenage daughters often make challenging situations worse and accuse my husband and I of favouring our son or letting him get away with things. We have been advised to pick our battles and experience of consequences having no effect has left us confused at how we can implement effective discipline and bring harmony into the home. Any ideas?

  • Hello scrubber

    I have exactly the same problem, my son is 21 and the youngest in the family. Everyone thinks I treat him favourably and allow him to get away with too much but as Someone said, it's about making his life better as he already has so much to cope with. His older brothers could make friends easily and have jobs whereas my youngest (Aspergers, ADD and dyspraxia) has struggled all the way through school and now can't get a job and doesn't even know if he would be able to cope with one. So his future is limited. They don't understand that I have to make his life easier because I want him to be happy and worry about him.

  • hey there scrubber Laughing

    i have no idea what you go through as my partner and i dont have kids

    have you talked to your daughters? helped them understand what autism is,

    id try to exlain that its not about 'favouring' , its about you doing what you can to make , his, their, and everyone elses, lives better,

    and that might SEEM like favouring but its not,

    its about making everyone comfortable, and yes that means a lot of the time the person with autism comes first, because their issues cause them more stress, but that does NOT mean everyone else is less important or hes being 'favoured'

    you can find other ways to make them happy, but he only has a few and sometimes that means they will have to put up with things they dont like for that to happen