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Worrying about my son all the time

Shell4429

Hi my name is Shelley and I have a 21 year old son with Aspergers. He was also recently diagnosed with ADD and dyspraxia. I've just read a couple of posts and the issues he has are very similar, with the depression and struggle to talk to people. He has no motivation and has been unemployed for just over a year. He started voluntary work in an old people's sheltered accommodation building last week and so far it's going okay. He's been getting middle rate DLA since before his diagnosis, for about nineteen years now. Then recently I put in a new claim and it has been downgraded to low rate so I will lose my carer's allowance, meaning I have to claim Jobseekers allowance. We are going to lose about £350 a month overall so now have a housing issue as we live in private rented accommodation.I am looking for a job but I really don't know how he will cope with being alone so much - I still need to make him get up, eat breakfast, do his hair for him, be there if he has any panics about anything. And I am also worrying that if we have to leave the house and end up in temporary accommodation we will have to share a toilet with other families, he has a lot of issues around using the toilet.I've been advised to appeal the DLA decision which I will do but it's not just about that, I wanted to come on here because sometimes I feel so isolated and I am constantly worried about my son's future. It's just that this issue has made me realise that everything I worry about is to do with him, he's so unhappy most of the time despite being on Fluexotine and I worry that anything that happens to him will make him worse.

Sorry that my introduction just sounds like a problem but then I guess that's what this forum is for. Be nice to read some more posts and maybe in return I can help others.

Parents

  • Hi Alex,

    I expect you have your own problems so thank you for posting. I remember Jack being 14 and having problems at secondary school with isolation, I hope it isn't the same for your son. I don't know if you are the same but I constantly worry about his future, whether he will ever get a job or be in a relationship.

    I've already been to the CAB and they pretty much told me to appeal (I've written a letter in the first instance pointing out that Jack needs a lot more support than the form allowed me to state, with it being more about his mental state). I have asked my landlady, as advised, to reduce the rent for a short period of time, by letter so I'm waiting for a response to that.

    Thanks for the support, I really do appreciate it, and I hope that I will be able to return the favour at some point.

    It never ceases to amaze me how unfeeling the bureaucrats are that work for the government. The way disabled people are being treated in this country under the coalition government is utterly disgraceful. Vent over! :)

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  • Hi Alex,

    I expect you have your own problems so thank you for posting. I remember Jack being 14 and having problems at secondary school with isolation, I hope it isn't the same for your son. I don't know if you are the same but I constantly worry about his future, whether he will ever get a job or be in a relationship.

    I've already been to the CAB and they pretty much told me to appeal (I've written a letter in the first instance pointing out that Jack needs a lot more support than the form allowed me to state, with it being more about his mental state). I have asked my landlady, as advised, to reduce the rent for a short period of time, by letter so I'm waiting for a response to that.

    Thanks for the support, I really do appreciate it, and I hope that I will be able to return the favour at some point.

    It never ceases to amaze me how unfeeling the bureaucrats are that work for the government. The way disabled people are being treated in this country under the coalition government is utterly disgraceful. Vent over! :)

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