Worrying about my son all the time

Shell4429 said:

Thank you Some One, I haven't given up hope of getting a new private let yet, the agent who found us this place says she has a flat possibly coming up. I am hoping to find work and then will have more chance of finding another place myself.

I think it's great that you and your other half are through the bad times and settled, I often worry about Jack finding someone and being in a relationship, maybe one day he will meet someone like you

i truly hope it works out for you, i have a feeling it will

thanks, thats a lovely compliment , i dont doubt he will , it's not easy to find that 'right person' but they exist 

Thank you Some One, I haven't given up hope of getting a new private let yet, the agent who found us this place says she has a flat possibly coming up. I am hoping to find work and then will have more chance of finding another place myself.

I think it's great that you and your other half are through the bad times and settled, I often worry about Jack finding someone and being in a relationship, maybe one day he will meet someone like you :)

Shell4429 said:

I'm surprised you had problems with a public landlord, haven't heard of that happening before. Very unlucky. Where we are the rents are high in the private sector and the council pay local housing allowance so there is a shortfall of over £100 a month. But anyway I really appreciate your words and it helps just to know my problems aren't unique. Some people have worse problems, that's for sure.

its happening all over the place here with GHA, sadly we havent been unlucky they have just been really bad, they havent been the best landlords to most people

but for us thats in the past, we moved out, got private let and have had the best time in our home, its good to have that stability now, when we didnt have it in the above mentioned due to all the problems, as he was undaignosed back then we had no idea how this would all affect him or why it was affecting himhow it was

not the bst time in our relationship thats for sure, but we made it, and i think if that was as far as im concerned the worst time in our relationship, and we made it, then you will do fine too

Hi Alex,

I expect you have your own problems so thank you for posting. I remember Jack being 14 and having problems at secondary school with isolation, I hope it isn't the same for your son. I don't know if you are the same but I constantly worry about his future, whether he will ever get a job or be in a relationship.

I've already been to the CAB and they pretty much told me to appeal (I've written a letter in the first instance pointing out that Jack needs a lot more support than the form allowed me to state, with it being more about his mental state). I have asked my landlady, as advised, to reduce the rent for a short period of time, by letter so I'm waiting for a response to that.

Thanks for the support, I really do appreciate it, and I hope that I will be able to return the favour at some point.

It never ceases to amaze me how unfeeling the bureaucrats are that work for the government. The way disabled people are being treated in this country under the coalition government is utterly disgraceful. Vent over! :)

I'm surprised you had problems with a public landlord, haven't heard of that happening before. Very unlucky. Where we are the rents are high in the private sector and the council pay local housing allowance so there is a shortfall of over £100 a month. But anyway I really appreciate your words and it helps just to know my problems aren't unique. Some people have worse problems, that's for sure.

Hello Shelley,

My name's Alex and I'm a mum to a 14yr old boy with Asperger's syndrome.

Your story is so sad. I can understand why you worry about your son, I worry all the time too! Sometimes it consumes your whole life doesn't it?

I too get middle rate DLA and although I work, I don't earn much, so I rely on it pretty heavily. It must have put a big dent in your finances being taken down to the lower rate. The knock on effect it has on your housing sounds totally stressful. I seriously think you should fight this all the way. Put it in plain black and white what affect it will have on your son (and your own mental health) if you are forced to move. It is totally unacceptable in my eyes. You could even get advice from CAB or see if your local MP runs advice sessions and they might be able to back you up? Be strong and fight.

Remember something though; parents like us go through so much with our children and I truly believe it puts us in a league of our own!

Sending you lots of strength and a big pat on the back for all you've coped with so far.xx

your very welcome

 if it happens it happens you just deal with it, it wont be easy but being prepared for it is better than it taking you by surprise 

we have been very lucky with our landlord, shes a brilliant woman , smart business woman and tho we have been on benefits most of the time she hasnt had any problems with us , so it doesnt matter

we had problems with the public landlord and decided we just cant be doing with them anymore so went private and its worked out well for us the last 7 or so years, im sorry you havent had the same

Thanks for taking the time to reply to my post, it feels a bit better already knowing that I have made a connection. It is nice to know that there are people around with similar issues and I'm not alone. I am trying to see positives in that if we do have to go into temporary accommodation then at least eventually we will get some form of social housing, private renting is such an insecure way to live if you don't work because landlords are biased against us. We are in our second house in three years because the last landlord tried to sell, couldn't, so put up the rent. Anyway I'm glad things have eventually worked out for you and hope life continues to treat you well.

hi shelly

your situation seems really stressful, i wish i could change that i know having an autistic partner (no children) its stressful we've had similar issues, tho we dont rely on beenfits for his disability so its never been an issue, but we have been relying onit for me (ive had a few disabilites and mental health issues) so it has been touch and go sometimes

but from our experience, i can say we come out stronger, and with more control over our lives in the end, tho it doesnt feel that way at the start, you feel like your being pushed into a situation by the people who are supposed to understand what help you need (government etc)

you dont need to apologise for this as an intorduction, i think its probably the same intro we all wanted to do, just get it all out and say i feel terrible someone help me

i dont have any practical advice for you, its not easy especially with the government changing things and messing it all up for people who like us genuinly need the help and money, but you will get through , you will because you have more strength in your little toe than anyone who makes your situation more difficult

just come on here, let it out and then go off and take that wee bit less stress away with you and a bit more strength from knowing you arent alone, we all get it, and no0 matter how bad it seems or feels, you can deal with it