Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi Everyone,
I'm not entirely sure why it's taken me so long to get round to posting in here.
I'm Dan, I'm 43 and I was diagnosed 2 years ago after a big episode of severe depression. I regard finding out I was Autistic as probably the most liberating thing to have happened to me. I made a conscious decision to stop masking and just be me. Since then my life with my family, wife, children, work and colleagues has got so my better.
I still have my bad days,but nowhere near what they used to be like simply because I've stopped trying to be something I wasn't meant to be.
Hey dan my name is River, I understand what it is like to have that realisation of not masking and to not be me, i forget sometimes and instinctively mask anyways but it is a work in progress, but i am glad you are able to drop the mask and be you, that's awesome :)
Hi River, I work with a group of people who like me for who I am, they took a risk on me and as far as they're concerned it really paid off.
thats good that its working out for you , it must be awesome , my friends like me for who i am but i still struggle to drop the masking as its something ive grown up doing , as i went all through school with literally no friends, so my only alternative was to "keep a low profile" not that it made me get bullied any less but still I felt it was the only option I had.
Ah ok then yeah that makes sense, I am trying to do those 2 things but obviously isnt easy, im guessing it isnt meant to be , ive in the past had people have a go at me for being selfish or not caring about how others feel in a situation or not taking into account how others feel, which is something i find difficult anyway but yeah, i dont mean to apoligise for opening up, been through a lot and its left me with the worry ive been talking too much or being selfish or something, something along the lines of narcissism but im learning , having more autistic friends like me would help, which i guess is one of the reasons im here :)
thank you for your kind words and listening to me and reading all i type , i do appreciate it :)
River, never apologise for opening up, it may not feel like it at the time but only good for you will come of it.
My psychotherapist gave me a really tough time about 2 things.
1. Being compassionate to yourself, allowing yourself to not always get things right but to try. but not to beat yourself up about it.
2. Be more selfish, in the real sense as in thinking about what's right for you and your well being before you think about what's good for other.
Keep talking to us we're listening :)