Just been told my little man might be autistic please help

HI

Im sorry you have this news.

But you know at least you have it now and you can learn about his needs and your rights in education and get a plan in place.

I always though my daughter was and no one would listen and here I am with her almost at secondary school and just about to  assesst

There are some great books out there and look up Dr Tony Attwood  https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=dr+tony+attwood+could+it+be+autism

Also by having this diagnosed at such an early age maybe gives you more time to speak to others ahead of you and do the best for the little chappie.

HIgh functioning autism doesn't have to be a weight round your neck. It could be you actually have a very bright little boy who, if he gets the right support and education will go on to achieve and do well. 

Look after yourself psychologically and this will make you stronger. make a plan of your days and make them autistic friendly. Order the shopping if it creates havoc and maybe a peaceful walk in nature might take its place. take advantage of any offers of help and advice from intelligent elderly folk who have been there and done it. 

Autistic children pick up on negativity and limit his contact with anyone who doesn't want the best for him or refuses to treat you or him with the same respect as if he wasn't on the spectrum .

Theres a really good blog and website called Someones mum that you should look at as Danielle has an autistic son.

One of the things I have realised doesn't work is talking and talking at my daughter. It just becomes white  noise.

Is he affectionate and if your able to to be close really build on kindness and teaching him to respect himself and you.

get communication across with limited words stating the same meaning and maybe draw some cards for emotions so as he gets older he can learn how to communicate. i.e: sad face, happy face, tired person in a bed.

The one thing that winds my daughter up is a chaotic atmosphere, so try and keep the home very calm.

Also allow him a place in the living room or somewhere that he can go that's peaceful, warm and maybe has a cuddly toy and blanket that he retreat to.

Hope that helps.

Take care of yourself

Its so personal to him and it will be like trying to find your way through the woods.There is help but you have to look for it.

Yes it does appear as if your son is on the autistic spectrum. You describe classic signs.

My son had as far as I can remember zero speech at 3.-3.5 years when he was diagnosed and was immediately allocated a place in a special school. But the was over 30 years ago, they don't exist today and seem to be incorporated with Mainstream schooling. I personally do not believe this is a good thing. as vulnerable people should always be in a safe environment.

To day is seems to be different. also  the fact that your son may have some language is a plus. Also in some children language is late normally. It was our first concern as to my sons development.  

When my son was diagnosed it was a tremendous relief because his behavior had become so different to his brothers and sisters. We had at least a diagnosis of a then about 1 in 4000 and little publicised affliction. We could now start to build up from the low point we had reached. We started with GP, Then to Hospital Pediatrician, then to Pediatric Neurologist and a team of behavior and language observers at a children's hospital. and then immediately special school at 3.5 years.

With my son at that age he had no comprehension of any language,  its use and how it works, other than they are sounds which he could not understand any meaning to.  In fact his first sounds as far as I remember were Caw Caw copying the Crows. Dad took longer and unfortunately Mum longer still. Today at age 35 he is obviously a vulnerable adult. All his life he has been watching Tom and Jerry cartoons, Bart Simpson etc and his Language has been copied from the cartoons these are repeated repetitiously time and time again. Today they are on all the time as well as music, he loves music.

There is No specific Cure for autism, My son will have to live his life being autistic. He is quite bright but needs constant care and protection, and someone to fight his battles to get  the services he needs.  He could not be allowed out to play or go on his own  except in a safe place. When he was young and perhaps stressed. he did escape several times from a safe place.  He wanted to explore. 

Getting his disability recognised for a blue badge, this helps, and was a fight. I suggest you make contact with your local CAB office first to see if you qualify for any Carers benefit. and help with claiming a blue badge then the Council's social service department, because they will have to pay out money for the specialist help he will need in Education, because your son will need specialist language help and supervision. My son loved Thomas the tank Engine stories read to him time and time again.

Our son is a pleasure most of the time, but he can occasional seek to attack us when confused, He Takes medication to keep his stress levels down., but he did not take any medication until aged about 25 when his behavior became so bad.

Your son will always need your help.

Hi NAS50135,

Remember you can always contact our Autism Helpline team for more information and advice . You can contact the team via telephone on 0808 800 4104 (Monday to Thursday 10am to 4pm, Friday 9am to 3pm). 

Firstly don’t be afraid. You need to find a support group near you and go along and talk to other parents, I found it really useful. Read up about it and listen to podcasts, learn as much as you can it will really help.

It can seem confusing and scary but he’s still your little boy and you know him better than anyone, your his best hope and you need to stay positive for him and your family.