Published on 12, July, 2020
My name isn't incorrectly spelled, I promise. Its a play on Aspie, and Aspiring. As I am aspiring to be a better, well informed autistic person
I am 31 - Male and from West Midlands. I was diagnosed with autism (Aspergers) about 4 months ago.
For 13 months I haven't been able to leave my house willingly (only if it was required / hospital / doctors etc) I had a massive amount of personal loss prior to this period of time, my health, a career and a fiance / step children. I reacted the way I always have in my life but luckily from that relationship, it led me to checking for autism.
Since being diagnosed a while back, I have relived every moment in my life, and every loss, issue, problem, misunderstanding, all the stress, anger, anxiety throughout my entire life to try and make sense of why things happened. I am involved with Autism West Midlands and I am learning a lot
My main problem is loneliness, I have no social life, and any chances of working, making friends or a relationship of any kind are very low for me right now, so I thought I would take the plunge and try to talk online about things
I struggle, every day, but I eventually want to give back, once I have a better understanding, and the right support. I will talk to anyone about anything :D especially if you are around my age, or recently diagnosed and also having trouble adjusting.
I'm sorry if this seems so formal, it was hard for me to write.
Thanks!
Hello and welcome - great name by the way!
I am quite a bit older than you, and female. I'm still in the process of trying to get a diagnosis. Like you the decision to get assessed came after several significant losses.
I can really relate to your description of reliving every moment in life, and all the complicated emotions, to try and make sense of things. It is exhausting but I am sure it is an important part of coming to terms with being autistic.
My only real social life at the moment is on this forum. It's made an incredible difference having like-minded people to talk to and share ideas with. We have discussions about music, films, machinery and virtually anything else you can think of! I'm sure you will find it a positive experience too.
I believe its an important part of it too, that is why I allowed myself to go through it, it was helpful but it was painful. I have a lot less confidence but more answers. I don't know how to turn that into focus, which is what I need. I want to socialise, I want to have a relationship again, I want to get a job but its just all horribly challenging to even think about right now. I feel like I have already lost most of my life without knowing why. I am anxious because I don't want to lose anymore.
I also don't know what I want to do or what to focus on, its a very confusing time and I just want one positive thing to happen so I might have a chance of having hope again.