I'm new, boyfriend has autism, want advice

my boyfriend has autism and aspergers and he has never been in a relationship before and doesn't know anything about having a girlfriend or how relationships work, how can I help him understand about it in a way that he will understand and wont get confused?

Parents
  • All I can really add is to quote my 11 year old daughter when I asked her about how we should treat neurodiverse individuals:

    "You should just treat them the same way as everyone else.  Of course you need to think about their needs but as a person just treat them as a person"

    'nuff  said, really

  • The "out of the mouths of babes" quote is fitting here. Not religious as such but stuff kids say sometimes just cuts through all the nonsense. Straight to the point.

  • Apologies for going rather off-topic. There can't be many of my friends' children who haven't called me "weird", or words to that effect, by now, absolutely without malice; I do find it rather amusing to watch their parents' reaction to this sometimes!

  • Conversation can often go off topic! That's part of the fun of it.

    I was talking in the context of that exact thing, there is less malice and less agenda. I've been called "weird" all my life by people. There's "good" and "bad" weird though. My one friends son would always say "Cloudy's mad!" with a grin. I'd always be goofy and he never meant it in a bad way. He liked the way I'd explain stuff he was learning for school in a goofy way. "Weird" can be fun for people, it's not necessarily negative for me.

    I've got 5 godchildren. They all like my company. I think! On several occasions my friend has said "How do you get them to listen to you?". I said "Because I speak to them like equals, and listen to them like equals too". Kids don't get enough credit sometimes. I always liked spending time with my grandfather better than all the other adults because he'd listen and explain things to me like I was another adult. There was that level of "I'm an adult, behave" but he'd let me contribute to conversations, and explain consequences to my actions rather than just bark orders. That sunk in more.

    If someone's a kid and is talking sense they should be acknowledged. I think it's very beneficial for their development and self-esteem.

Reply
  • Conversation can often go off topic! That's part of the fun of it.

    I was talking in the context of that exact thing, there is less malice and less agenda. I've been called "weird" all my life by people. There's "good" and "bad" weird though. My one friends son would always say "Cloudy's mad!" with a grin. I'd always be goofy and he never meant it in a bad way. He liked the way I'd explain stuff he was learning for school in a goofy way. "Weird" can be fun for people, it's not necessarily negative for me.

    I've got 5 godchildren. They all like my company. I think! On several occasions my friend has said "How do you get them to listen to you?". I said "Because I speak to them like equals, and listen to them like equals too". Kids don't get enough credit sometimes. I always liked spending time with my grandfather better than all the other adults because he'd listen and explain things to me like I was another adult. There was that level of "I'm an adult, behave" but he'd let me contribute to conversations, and explain consequences to my actions rather than just bark orders. That sunk in more.

    If someone's a kid and is talking sense they should be acknowledged. I think it's very beneficial for their development and self-esteem.

Children
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