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Aspergers can be tough, can't it?

Haythml

Hello im Martin.

Chairman of the award winning Peer Support Group www.pfgdoncaster.co.uk , author of www.mentallywell.co.uk , diagnosed aspergic, grower of huge strawberries and long time reader of this forum.

I was diagnosed in my early 20's, took a look at professional services and decided to handle it all myself until I was 37 ( 3 years ago).

3 years later I decided that was a waste of time and went back to my own self management, no offence to the statutory authorities but there wasn't anything they could do that was better than me being in charge.

I just want to say I do enjoy reading peoples stories on here, Aspergers is tough and and I've been cheered up so many times by reading this Forum.

All the Psychiatrists and Counsellors in the world couldn't pass on the knowledge I've picked up from you people.

Thanks.

Martin.

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  • swinkie said:

    JON WROTE:

    I know I get it wrong sometimes in trying to be honest as I end up saying something that upsets my partner. Understanding on both sides is really important.


    How do you feel & what do you think of when your wife gets upset?

     JON WROTE::

    I myself can find present buying tricky but I will do it because I want to make my partner happy. I find it hard to buy something that she woulf like if I don't like it myself.


    Any tips on how you do that?


    p.s. hOW DO I  DO THE HIGHLIGHTED TEXT FROM SOMEONE ELSES STATEMENT PLEASE?

    Hi Swinkie.

    To highlight/quote a members comment/post just click on 'quote' at the bottom of the relevant post. Delete the bits you don't want to use.

    When my partner gets upset I often don't know why. It can easily end in an argument.She might think I am being rude or abrupt and responds to that. I hadn't meant to be rude or abrupt and am suprised that is the reason for her being upset. All I see is that she us just being unpleasant and I don't like it. I can't see what the problem is. When she is upset I offer lttle in the way of emotional support. Its just not the way i see things. I tend to see things in more of a practical way. If it wasn't for my partners stubborn persistence I would have probably shut her out of my life a long time ago. We have been together for 12 years although it's only the past couple of years we have started to understand each other better. Misundersatndings are the biggest problem.

    As to buying presents? I think the expectation that you have to do it is a problem in itself. I don't think it is right or wrong to give presents. People have different strenghths and qualities and maybe present giving isn't always somenes strong point. Would it be so bad if he never bought you a present? I suppose you have to find a way to make a relationship work so that both parties are happy with it. This doesn't necessarily mean so much compromise but its does mean acceptance of each others differences. I know, easier said than done Smile.

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  • swinkie said:

    JON WROTE:

    I know I get it wrong sometimes in trying to be honest as I end up saying something that upsets my partner. Understanding on both sides is really important.


    How do you feel & what do you think of when your wife gets upset?

     JON WROTE::

    I myself can find present buying tricky but I will do it because I want to make my partner happy. I find it hard to buy something that she woulf like if I don't like it myself.


    Any tips on how you do that?


    p.s. hOW DO I  DO THE HIGHLIGHTED TEXT FROM SOMEONE ELSES STATEMENT PLEASE?

    Hi Swinkie.

    To highlight/quote a members comment/post just click on 'quote' at the bottom of the relevant post. Delete the bits you don't want to use.

    When my partner gets upset I often don't know why. It can easily end in an argument.She might think I am being rude or abrupt and responds to that. I hadn't meant to be rude or abrupt and am suprised that is the reason for her being upset. All I see is that she us just being unpleasant and I don't like it. I can't see what the problem is. When she is upset I offer lttle in the way of emotional support. Its just not the way i see things. I tend to see things in more of a practical way. If it wasn't for my partners stubborn persistence I would have probably shut her out of my life a long time ago. We have been together for 12 years although it's only the past couple of years we have started to understand each other better. Misundersatndings are the biggest problem.

    As to buying presents? I think the expectation that you have to do it is a problem in itself. I don't think it is right or wrong to give presents. People have different strenghths and qualities and maybe present giving isn't always somenes strong point. Would it be so bad if he never bought you a present? I suppose you have to find a way to make a relationship work so that both parties are happy with it. This doesn't necessarily mean so much compromise but its does mean acceptance of each others differences. I know, easier said than done Smile.

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