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Aspergers can be tough, can't it?

Haythml

Hello im Martin.

Chairman of the award winning Peer Support Group www.pfgdoncaster.co.uk , author of www.mentallywell.co.uk , diagnosed aspergic, grower of huge strawberries and long time reader of this forum.

I was diagnosed in my early 20's, took a look at professional services and decided to handle it all myself until I was 37 ( 3 years ago).

3 years later I decided that was a waste of time and went back to my own self management, no offence to the statutory authorities but there wasn't anything they could do that was better than me being in charge.

I just want to say I do enjoy reading peoples stories on here, Aspergers is tough and and I've been cheered up so many times by reading this Forum.

All the Psychiatrists and Counsellors in the world couldn't pass on the knowledge I've picked up from you people.

Thanks.

Martin.

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  • swinkie said:

      Being told you are un-attractive by the person who should love you most in the world is very hard, especialy since I always make a real effort with my apearance,  was a terrible thing to hear.

    It is possible that he is just being honest and that counts for a lot. It may lack tact but it is not necessarily malicious. I am not saying Aspergers is an excuse to hurt people and although some comments may seem cruel, that is not necessarily the intention. I know I get it wrong sometimes in trying to be honest as I end up saying something that upsets my partner. Understanding on both sides is really important.

     

      He knows I would love flowers & is indeed capable of sending them when he upsets me, so why can't he do it other times?

     I have spelt it out to him many times. He understands that it is important to me, even though he doesnt understand their appeal. I even suggested he set up an account that automaticaly sends me flowers once a month, but no....

      I know things are difficult for people with aspergers, but he is well capable of buying things for himself. I do think things like that are just selfish.

    ....would you really be happy with flowers sent automatically once a month? I myself can find present buying tricky but I will do it because I want to make my partner happy. I find it hard to buy something that she woulf like if I don't like it myself..... but that still leaves scope.... I bought her an OMG mug last month and last week I went on my bicycle to buy her a large bag of compost she wanted....I like to cook for her too.... I am not to fussed on getting presents myself and feel bed that I sometimes might seem ungrateful (which I am not).

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  • swinkie said:

      Being told you are un-attractive by the person who should love you most in the world is very hard, especialy since I always make a real effort with my apearance,  was a terrible thing to hear.

    It is possible that he is just being honest and that counts for a lot. It may lack tact but it is not necessarily malicious. I am not saying Aspergers is an excuse to hurt people and although some comments may seem cruel, that is not necessarily the intention. I know I get it wrong sometimes in trying to be honest as I end up saying something that upsets my partner. Understanding on both sides is really important.

     

      He knows I would love flowers & is indeed capable of sending them when he upsets me, so why can't he do it other times?

     I have spelt it out to him many times. He understands that it is important to me, even though he doesnt understand their appeal. I even suggested he set up an account that automaticaly sends me flowers once a month, but no....

      I know things are difficult for people with aspergers, but he is well capable of buying things for himself. I do think things like that are just selfish.

    ....would you really be happy with flowers sent automatically once a month? I myself can find present buying tricky but I will do it because I want to make my partner happy. I find it hard to buy something that she woulf like if I don't like it myself..... but that still leaves scope.... I bought her an OMG mug last month and last week I went on my bicycle to buy her a large bag of compost she wanted....I like to cook for her too.... I am not to fussed on getting presents myself and feel bed that I sometimes might seem ungrateful (which I am not).

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