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I have just had a diagnosis and feel quite confused

Sam B

Hello

I feel guilty writing this as the posts I have seen relate to parents very concerned about children and by comparison my worries are very small.  I feel a bit lost though with a recent diagnosis.  I have seen a psychiatrist for some time and have a diagnosis of a psychiatirc disorder.  The time before last I saw my psychiatrist he said I am also on the autistic spectrum.  I saw him again last week and argued with him about it but he pointed out my difficuties with relationships, black/white thinking, dislike of change, poor eye contact etc.  I am now thinking maybe he is right. Outwardly my life is successful - I have a good job etc - but it is a huge struggle.  I am finding it very hard to  get my head round this though and feel like I have become a lesser person or inferior.  It seems to be a label which is all negative and which you can't recover from.  Like I say, I appreciate my problems are very mild but I would love to hear from someone in a similar position.  Now he has said it about me I can see it in one of my children and my grandfather.  Thank you

Parents

  • Hi Kalojaro,

    I came across one of your replies when having a general browse through the "community", and found your positivity so uplifting that I had a look at some of your other replies.

    My son, aged 8, has just been diagnosed as having mild aspergers - if there is such a thing as "mild". At the moment, he mixes really well with other children and has lots of friends, but I obviously worry that they may start to notice his differences.

    He is a very witty boy and has always had adult humour, which makes him great company for us, and I think he does make his school friends laugh too.

    His main issues are his "twiddling" and his school work.  The teachers, and cub leaders all say he is very clever and often gets answers correct in group discussions, while other children struggle, however, he is really behind with his writing.  He recently had to write what he had done that day and wrote "I wet wiv.............." this was supposed to say "I went with".  When we ask him how to spell "went" he can spell it correctly, when we ask how to spell "with" he can spell it correctly, and always gets his spelling tests right, but when he has to concentrate and string a scentance together, it all seems to go out of the window.  It is almost though his mind is full of other "stuff" that he can't be bother to concentrate for long enough to write a sentance.  Did you ever have problems like this, or were you always quite academic.

    Also, you mention taking something out with you like a comforter.  My son would "twiddle" belts, straps on bags, strips of paper, all the time if we let him.  He seems to watch a tv program (pokemon is a favourate) at the moment, then go and "twiddle" aobut it. Its not a comforting thing to him as such, more a hobby, enjoyment.  It is his way of playing.  Can you relate to this and if so, can you try to explain the "need" so that I can better understand my son.  Also, if you had any habbits/obsessions like this, did they get better over time, or do they always stay with you.  Can you suggest anyway I could limit his "twiddling" without making it seem like a negative.

    Sorry if I appear to be prying, but having read some of your comments, you seem like a real nice level headed chap.  I really like the "different, not less" comment.  It is so true.  My son is the most wonderful, well mannered little boy I know.  He wouldnt hurt a fly and I am so lucky to have him, quirks and all! x

Reply

  • Hi Kalojaro,

    I came across one of your replies when having a general browse through the "community", and found your positivity so uplifting that I had a look at some of your other replies.

    My son, aged 8, has just been diagnosed as having mild aspergers - if there is such a thing as "mild". At the moment, he mixes really well with other children and has lots of friends, but I obviously worry that they may start to notice his differences.

    He is a very witty boy and has always had adult humour, which makes him great company for us, and I think he does make his school friends laugh too.

    His main issues are his "twiddling" and his school work.  The teachers, and cub leaders all say he is very clever and often gets answers correct in group discussions, while other children struggle, however, he is really behind with his writing.  He recently had to write what he had done that day and wrote "I wet wiv.............." this was supposed to say "I went with".  When we ask him how to spell "went" he can spell it correctly, when we ask how to spell "with" he can spell it correctly, and always gets his spelling tests right, but when he has to concentrate and string a scentance together, it all seems to go out of the window.  It is almost though his mind is full of other "stuff" that he can't be bother to concentrate for long enough to write a sentance.  Did you ever have problems like this, or were you always quite academic.

    Also, you mention taking something out with you like a comforter.  My son would "twiddle" belts, straps on bags, strips of paper, all the time if we let him.  He seems to watch a tv program (pokemon is a favourate) at the moment, then go and "twiddle" aobut it. Its not a comforting thing to him as such, more a hobby, enjoyment.  It is his way of playing.  Can you relate to this and if so, can you try to explain the "need" so that I can better understand my son.  Also, if you had any habbits/obsessions like this, did they get better over time, or do they always stay with you.  Can you suggest anyway I could limit his "twiddling" without making it seem like a negative.

    Sorry if I appear to be prying, but having read some of your comments, you seem like a real nice level headed chap.  I really like the "different, not less" comment.  It is so true.  My son is the most wonderful, well mannered little boy I know.  He wouldnt hurt a fly and I am so lucky to have him, quirks and all! x

Children
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