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I have just had a diagnosis and feel quite confused

Sam B

Hello

I feel guilty writing this as the posts I have seen relate to parents very concerned about children and by comparison my worries are very small.  I feel a bit lost though with a recent diagnosis.  I have seen a psychiatrist for some time and have a diagnosis of a psychiatirc disorder.  The time before last I saw my psychiatrist he said I am also on the autistic spectrum.  I saw him again last week and argued with him about it but he pointed out my difficuties with relationships, black/white thinking, dislike of change, poor eye contact etc.  I am now thinking maybe he is right. Outwardly my life is successful - I have a good job etc - but it is a huge struggle.  I am finding it very hard to  get my head round this though and feel like I have become a lesser person or inferior.  It seems to be a label which is all negative and which you can't recover from.  Like I say, I appreciate my problems are very mild but I would love to hear from someone in a similar position.  Now he has said it about me I can see it in one of my children and my grandfather.  Thank you

Parents

  • Inferior? .....ok, lets add it up:

    Cons:

    • Struggling to fit in with people who turn on each other and make up within days over petty things, who value being sociable and going out over hard work, and who prefer spending hours talking about how they look and petty tv shows as opposed to intelligent conversation.

    Pros:

    • Being an individual, which most Neuro-typicals seem to adore anyway i.e. the gays, the excentric best friend, the person you can rely on for quiz trivia etc.
    • Less stress. Why worry about fitting in so much if you know its not your fault? Might as well get on with enjoying life and not bother, theres no way you can change you entire persona and be happy about it.
    • More support, but only when you need it. I was forced to admit to myself that asking for help wasn't a weakness, and since then as an individual, I've come along in leaps and bounds. I'm more confident and even more sociable, because the SEN at school would run through conversations with me and help me understand what people might react negatively or positively to. i.e. slowing down speech but remaining a bit 'cheeky' in tone variations.

    And for the summary, inferior? Average student at school: 3 or 4 A-B grades at GCSE and B-C grades at A level.

    Me, strange kid with Aspergers who's never fully fit in: Helped every kid that sat next to me get up to a B or A in their subject, 4 A's and 3 A*'s at GCSE, and predicted A's in my A levels.

    As they say, doo da, doo da.

    To quote from the Temple Grandin movie, about a famous autistic woman:

    'Different, not less'.

    We're the ones who can bring a new perspective to things, can spend hours finding cures for diseases, crack impossible maths problems, make beautiful art out of something most might overlook and much much more. Historians are starting to believe that many of the worlds pioneers were autistic, such as Einstein.

    And if that doesn't convince you that we're not inferior, look at all the people society admires, all the celebrities that will be remembered for years to come, why are they revered? Because they're different.

    Yes, we have to compromise to an extent to be accepted into society, but in turn, they must compromise to accept you as an individual.

Reply

  • Inferior? .....ok, lets add it up:

    Cons:

    • Struggling to fit in with people who turn on each other and make up within days over petty things, who value being sociable and going out over hard work, and who prefer spending hours talking about how they look and petty tv shows as opposed to intelligent conversation.

    Pros:

    • Being an individual, which most Neuro-typicals seem to adore anyway i.e. the gays, the excentric best friend, the person you can rely on for quiz trivia etc.
    • Less stress. Why worry about fitting in so much if you know its not your fault? Might as well get on with enjoying life and not bother, theres no way you can change you entire persona and be happy about it.
    • More support, but only when you need it. I was forced to admit to myself that asking for help wasn't a weakness, and since then as an individual, I've come along in leaps and bounds. I'm more confident and even more sociable, because the SEN at school would run through conversations with me and help me understand what people might react negatively or positively to. i.e. slowing down speech but remaining a bit 'cheeky' in tone variations.

    And for the summary, inferior? Average student at school: 3 or 4 A-B grades at GCSE and B-C grades at A level.

    Me, strange kid with Aspergers who's never fully fit in: Helped every kid that sat next to me get up to a B or A in their subject, 4 A's and 3 A*'s at GCSE, and predicted A's in my A levels.

    As they say, doo da, doo da.

    To quote from the Temple Grandin movie, about a famous autistic woman:

    'Different, not less'.

    We're the ones who can bring a new perspective to things, can spend hours finding cures for diseases, crack impossible maths problems, make beautiful art out of something most might overlook and much much more. Historians are starting to believe that many of the worlds pioneers were autistic, such as Einstein.

    And if that doesn't convince you that we're not inferior, look at all the people society admires, all the celebrities that will be remembered for years to come, why are they revered? Because they're different.

    Yes, we have to compromise to an extent to be accepted into society, but in turn, they must compromise to accept you as an individual.

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