Feeling very isolated and low

Thanks for replying.

I am scared about going to study. A new place and new people, with a new routine and new expectations. A very different life. I really want to do well, integrate and I'm worried I won't cope. Last time I went to study I ended up very unwell. I've had some really bad patches.

I don't have any friends nearby. I have parents, my partner and my teachers. I never feel like I can phone anybody at any given time. I don't want to stress anybody.

I do live away from my partner. At the moment she is really struggling to cope with how I am and that makes me feel sad.

Getting banned from going to her place made me feel really excluded. 

Times I have felt included have been when my teachers and mentors have included me in events and activities, introducing me to people and encouraging me.

Thanks for replying.

I am scared about going to study. A new place and new people, with a new routine and new expectations. A very different life. I really want to do well, integrate and I'm worried I won't cope. Last time I went to study I ended up very unwell. I've had some really bad patches.

I don't have any friends nearby. I have parents, my partner and my teachers. I never feel like I can phone anybody at any given time. I don't want to stress anybody.

I do live away from my partner. At the moment she is really struggling to cope with how I am and that makes me feel sad.

Getting banned from going to her place made me feel really excluded. 

Times I have felt included have been when my teachers and mentors have included me in events and activities, introducing me to people and encouraging me.

I think I know what you mean about not wanting to phone people.  It's hard enough to say what you're feeling or thinking, and then you worry how they might react, and have to answer questions.  And then when you do steel yourself to phone someone, they're not there or don't answer, or want to talk about something else, leaving you feeling just as lonely!  I think it's better to tell people a little bit of what you're feeling than nothing at all.  I kind of compromise & find some people ask for more details, and others take the opportunity to avoid too much depth.

I do think it's worth keeping in touch with your friends who don't live nearby. Maybe just say you're lonely and ask them what they're up to.

It's good when you've had professional help that they've made you feel included.  Are your teachers and mentors able to help a bit more now with overcoming the isolation?

There's a certain amount of 'acting as if'. If you face up to a social event, you can come away feeling more confident.  But in order to face up to it you have to act as if you already have that confidence. (Feel the fear and do it anyway.)  To do that is not dishonest.

What is it about how you are at the moment that your partner is struggling with? So do you prefer if she comes to visit you or you go out together? May be a bit of an odd thing to write, but somehow I can tell you're a good person. Personally, I like 'weird' - it means different and interesting, and other people will appreciate that when they get to know you.

Dear NAS37554,

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through a tough time and feeling worried about the transition to studying at college. It’s good that you’ve let us know how you feel. Many people have similar thoughts when coping with so much and we hope you’re okay.

You can find some information here which might help, including sources of support which might be available for you: http://www.autism.org.uk/about/transition/starting-college-uni.aspx

If you are unable to cope with the distress or despair, it’s very important to tell someone about your feelings or thoughts of suicide. Call your GP and make an urgent appointment. Your GP can make sure you get appropriate help and support.

If it’s outside your GP hours call  111 to reach the NHS 111 service:  http://www.nhs.uk/NHSEngland/AboutNHSservices/Emergencyandurgentcareservices/Pages/NHS-111.aspx

The Samaritans also provide confidential non-judgemental emotional support, 24 hours a day on 116 123, or by email on jo@samaritans.org.

MIND have information pages on coping with self harm or suicidal feelings based on the experiences of people who’ve been through it that you may find helpful.

If you are very close to doing something to hurt yourself - call 999 now or go to your nearest A&E department. There should be someone there to support you and make sure you get ongoing support.

If you need help with an autism related issue, our helpline can be emailed via webform https://www.autism.org.uk/services/helplines/main/questions.aspx or they’re open Monday to Thursday 10am-4pm and Friday 9am-3pm on 0808 800 4104.

I hope this gives you a few options to help you to move forward.

Regards,

Kerri-Mod