Advice needed

Hi, I'm new to the forum. I was diagnosed in 2015 with an autism spectrum disorder. I also suffer with high levels of anxiety, sensory processing disorder and chronic fatigue syndrome. I'm in my late 20's.

I live with my partner and his mother and am going through an extremely stressful period in my life. My partner is older than me. He is 53. His mother is 91 and suffers with vascular dementia. I have lived here since October 2016 and cannot continue to live here as it's having a huge impact on my mental health.

I am having daily outbursts that are getting worse and I know my condition has worsened living here. I need to move out and my partner knows it and is willing to do this. She will not accept carers coming in and refuses to wash. Her hygiene is bad and I feel awful in this very tense atmosphere. It's not pleasant and I constantly feel on edge.

I'm wondering if I should inform the DWP of my worsening condition? I am on ESA Support Group and PIP Enhanced Care Rate. I feel I should be entitled to the Mobility rate as I applied for Mobility in March 2016 and I was only given 4 points for this and given the enhanced care rate. My ESA entitlement support group runs until September of this year.

I wondered what I should do too about the housing situation I have as I have been placed in silver band with the housing department and have been on the register since January 2017. Gold is the highest so there is most likely a long wait. I've applied for the Hold scheme which means home ownership for the long term disabled. Has anyone on here applied to this and what have you done when you have required housing?

Thank You. 


  • Has your partner contacted social services regarding his Mother's worsening condition? Her poor hygiene could be affecting her health and making her symptoms worse. (Urine infections, for instance, can worsen her memory and concentration and can cause her pain if left untreated.)  She may need their help, and that of carers to attend to her hygiene, whether she wants to accept it or not. Her GP should also be alerted about this. Who is caring for her at the moment?