Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all I’m new here and don’t know what to do next. Last year I decided to ask for professional help with my daughters behaviour as I was worried and struggling with her meltdowns. She has major meltdowns over clothes, this has become more of a problem as she started school last September and has to wear a strict uniform. My gp refered us to cahms and the outcome from them has been to refer her to community paediatric as they suspect neurological or autism. So the gp referred her but it has been refused on the grounds of her being ok at school and learning inline with her Peers. My issue now is she seems to be able to contain herself at school but when she gets home she explodes and her meltdowns can last hours, I don’t know what to do anymore as she is getting worse and more angry. It’s so hard to watch and nothing I do or say helps her.
any advice would be much appreciated thank you in Advance
Just received a letter from community paediatrician
if my daughter doesn’t have difficulties with social communication, social interaction does this mean she can not be on the spectrum?
she has problems when we are all having a conversation like at the dinner table she constantly interrupts and then get frustrated when told she has to wait her turn to talk then has a major meltdown?
Hi, when you read a bit on here you'll find lots of people saying the same, their child is an angel in school and then comes home and explodes. And often when they try to get help nobody believes them or it is put down to bad parenting. Maybe you can find some research article that mentions this and show that to the doctor? Experts do know about this, so they wouldn't immediately conclude that nothing can be wrong if school don't have an issue with her. Getting over the non-expert hurdle seems more of a problem.
In the meantime, do you know what her issues are with the clothes she is supposed to wear? Maybe it's something that can be improved without wearing something totally different?
Regarding difficulties with social communication - many children (especially girls) can compensate for this for some time because children are expected to still having to learn a thing or two there, so if she doesn't show obvious (that is big) problems there now it doesn't mean she will not have them later when we are supposed to have become much more sophisticated. A lot of woman get diagnosed fairly late and would have been described as quiet girls in school. So I'd say if someone has no social communication difficulties at all, then they probably don't have ASD, but with a bright girl of 5 years it will be quite hard or impossible to tell that she really doesn't have that, it may just not have shown up yet because she's covering it well enough.
Thank you for the reply
with regards to clothes it’s the tags, seems they hurt or irate she prefers loose clothing like dresses
Hi well 2 years down the line I now have a diagnosis of sensory processing and asd but I had to go private to get that.
my advice would be read as much as you can a good book is the out of sync child, also watch your daughter watch the way she plays I’ve noticed the more I know the more I’m aware of her issues like how she controls play it’s very factual rather than make believe and very controlled.
Also go back to the gp and state how girls are more likely to mask at school and make good eye contact. if you have anymore questions feel free to message.