Published on 12, July, 2020
Our son (12) has indicated he doesn't agree with his diagnosis from 2 years ago, ( I worry he is ashamed of it, and fervently wishes not to be different) so we have followed his lead and dealt with any issues around school/anxieties as they come up without mentioning it.
I wonder if this is a common situation?
He receives and accesses (excellent) additional support at school (secondary) but I feel he doesn't accept his overall situation of having Aspergers. I'd love him to embrace it a bit more because I think he would embrace himself as a person a bit more if he did. It also would mean I could widen the support and understanding he would be able to access (like this website) which would maybe help him find pathways that could help him.
I also worry our explanation of his diagnosis wasn't as good as it could have been but now wonder if we need to talk to him about it again.
Should we *force* a discussion on him (i.e. us taking the lead) or keep allowing him to lead us (although this seems to us to limit his opportunities to develop more positively)?
Is anyone else experiencing this?
Many thanks for any response.
Hi NAS36675, thanks for your reply.
I think that's why I worry about *how* we told our son, we should have emphasised that it doesn't change him one bit, but it's just a thing he has to deal with, but now we know what's going on he/we will get understanding and support.
I think I said things things, but I wish I had reiterated them. I worry he is a bit vague about it all.
I also think it is difficult for parents/me because sometimes *I* don't know what to think - is he ok? Is he happy enough? Am I measuring his life against mine? Is it really a big deal to him?
I hope you have good people and support around you.
It’s kind of a bit of a confusing time for most people at your age NAS36675 but you certainly seem much more aware than I was at your age. That’s a major headstart into adulthood. I don’t think you’re going to have many problems.