Trying to find help..again

Hello All

I am new here today.

I am a 47 year old male and have always struggled with life and felt different but finally realised why 5 years ago when watching a TV programme which led to a formal diagnosis .

I have been prescribed citalopram tabllets which helps a bit .

I have detached myself from family and don't have any friends these days which suits me far better.  

I am feeling really low and emotional which was triggered i think when my mom visited recently as it reminded  me of  my isolation from them and that they wont be here for ever.

I have been struggling every day since and feel suicidal(again)

I work and support myself but find all that and life itself tiring and frustrating-i need to mediate a number of times a day just to be able to function which is really draining.

I would really like to know if anyone has any advice on other medication,support group,counselling or any thing at all that could help stabilise me and be more emotionally balanced and stornger as frankly i don't think i can do all this for another 30 years or so

I just dont now where to go to get any more help which i know that i need ASAP

Any advice would be appreciated