Hi, newbie from Derbyshire

Hi, I am mum to 3 girls, my eldest daughter is 13 years old and in Year 9, and just been diagnosed with Aspergers.  I have known since she was 2 that something wasn't quite right and been up and down to our GP all this time fighting for referrals.  At last I feel exonerated that I am not a rubbish mum but am gutted at the diagnosis, however, also slightly relieved.  It has been explained to her but I am not sure if she has taken it on board.  She knows she is different from her peers, she recognises her extremely high anxiety and does have counselling for this now at school.  She has one very close friend, but struggles to have more than one friend at a time but tries very hard to fit in and mask her difficulties.  She is an absolute perfectionsit, an extremely high achiever and if doesn't get 100% will resit the test to be top of the class.  Second isn't an option for her, the words "that will do" never pass her lips.  She want perfection in her appearance too, and gets extremely upset and angry if her hair won't go right in the morning or she can't brush her teeth for her normal timed 3 minutes.  She needs more support than my 5 year old and tries to control the household.  She is bullied at school as she comes across very much the victim, has avoidance behaviour, won't talk to anyone in authority, and is frightened of her own shadow much of the time.  Her dad is struggling to come to terms with her diagnosis and tries to put it down to adolesence and bad behaviour.  I would love to talk to anyone who has a teenage girls with Aspergers as feel extremely isolated and struggle to understand her, she is much loved by the whole family, but boy is she testing !

Parents
  • Hi Kesercorn, thanks for your reply.  My daughter walked at 10 months old, she was so advanced in absolutely everything she did but her ocd was very hard to cope with, shoes were an absolute nightmare and she would only eat and drink if it was on a yellow plate/cup and her meltdowns were uncontrollable.  She still has mega meltdowns now, the latest being choosing a reading lamp in Ikea - give her a choice and she just can't cope.  Remarkably her OCD is so much better now and she has managed to control it but her anxiety is just getting worse, I think perhaps its an age thing.  Your partner sounds like mine, totally closed to the idea of it but deep down he knows she is so different to our other two daughters.  I wish you all the best in trying to get a proper diagnosis, its took me 10 years, they just kept saying "sufficient evidence of" which was ridiculous.  Thank goodness for second opinions, at least we have clarity.  I do worry about her future, how she would cope if she went away to university as she needs so much help and support and rings me constantly neven now if she is out with her friend, for example she got mud on her new converse and was absolutely distraught and didn't know what to do!  I have to laugh otherwise I would cry!  Keep pushing .......

    Regars, Billy

Reply
  • Hi Kesercorn, thanks for your reply.  My daughter walked at 10 months old, she was so advanced in absolutely everything she did but her ocd was very hard to cope with, shoes were an absolute nightmare and she would only eat and drink if it was on a yellow plate/cup and her meltdowns were uncontrollable.  She still has mega meltdowns now, the latest being choosing a reading lamp in Ikea - give her a choice and she just can't cope.  Remarkably her OCD is so much better now and she has managed to control it but her anxiety is just getting worse, I think perhaps its an age thing.  Your partner sounds like mine, totally closed to the idea of it but deep down he knows she is so different to our other two daughters.  I wish you all the best in trying to get a proper diagnosis, its took me 10 years, they just kept saying "sufficient evidence of" which was ridiculous.  Thank goodness for second opinions, at least we have clarity.  I do worry about her future, how she would cope if she went away to university as she needs so much help and support and rings me constantly neven now if she is out with her friend, for example she got mud on her new converse and was absolutely distraught and didn't know what to do!  I have to laugh otherwise I would cry!  Keep pushing .......

    Regars, Billy

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