Hi, newbie from Derbyshire

Hi, I am mum to 3 girls, my eldest daughter is 13 years old and in Year 9, and just been diagnosed with Aspergers.  I have known since she was 2 that something wasn't quite right and been up and down to our GP all this time fighting for referrals.  At last I feel exonerated that I am not a rubbish mum but am gutted at the diagnosis, however, also slightly relieved.  It has been explained to her but I am not sure if she has taken it on board.  She knows she is different from her peers, she recognises her extremely high anxiety and does have counselling for this now at school.  She has one very close friend, but struggles to have more than one friend at a time but tries very hard to fit in and mask her difficulties.  She is an absolute perfectionsit, an extremely high achiever and if doesn't get 100% will resit the test to be top of the class.  Second isn't an option for her, the words "that will do" never pass her lips.  She want perfection in her appearance too, and gets extremely upset and angry if her hair won't go right in the morning or she can't brush her teeth for her normal timed 3 minutes.  She needs more support than my 5 year old and tries to control the household.  She is bullied at school as she comes across very much the victim, has avoidance behaviour, won't talk to anyone in authority, and is frightened of her own shadow much of the time.  Her dad is struggling to come to terms with her diagnosis and tries to put it down to adolesence and bad behaviour.  I would love to talk to anyone who has a teenage girls with Aspergers as feel extremely isolated and struggle to understand her, she is much loved by the whole family, but boy is she testing !

Parents
  • Hi Billy

    I'm new to this too, I just wanted to share that I also have a thirteen year old who I am  trying to get diaognosed, infact she's asking for it herself. She's an utter perfectionist and a high achiever. I'm living in a different country where Asperger's is hardly recogonised and it's all the anxiety attached behaviour which is pushing me to insist on a diagonosis. Girls at this age are having to deal with a cocktail of hormones and complex dynamics at school, it's so good to get support and help.

    Feeling alone and isolated  is awful, I completely understand. At times I feel  overwhelmed and out of my depth, having to deal with difficult behaviour like being told not to look at her while she's talking to me  or  being shouted  at if  I accidently brush past her or touch her. My husband can't quite accept that it's possibly Asperger's although he knows deeply that something is not right. The doctors here are excellent on many levels but as far as autism is concerned they are way behind. They didn't think anything was wrong when she couldn't sit up  or roll over at ten months, she began  walking at two and talking at four and still she was just considered a late developer. Now she's compusively counting everything in sight from the slats in the shutters to the perforated holes in the garden chairs.  Her bedtime routine is measured to an extreme  and there's a precise sequence to the order of things . It is difficult but she's amazing too , her hearing is extraordinary she can identify the sound the breaks of a  relatives car in busy traffic, even though she'd only been in the car twice.  I think it's important to tap into the skills and gifts our children have and try to get as much support as possible.

    Best wishes

    Kezercorn

     

     

Reply
  • Hi Billy

    I'm new to this too, I just wanted to share that I also have a thirteen year old who I am  trying to get diaognosed, infact she's asking for it herself. She's an utter perfectionist and a high achiever. I'm living in a different country where Asperger's is hardly recogonised and it's all the anxiety attached behaviour which is pushing me to insist on a diagonosis. Girls at this age are having to deal with a cocktail of hormones and complex dynamics at school, it's so good to get support and help.

    Feeling alone and isolated  is awful, I completely understand. At times I feel  overwhelmed and out of my depth, having to deal with difficult behaviour like being told not to look at her while she's talking to me  or  being shouted  at if  I accidently brush past her or touch her. My husband can't quite accept that it's possibly Asperger's although he knows deeply that something is not right. The doctors here are excellent on many levels but as far as autism is concerned they are way behind. They didn't think anything was wrong when she couldn't sit up  or roll over at ten months, she began  walking at two and talking at four and still she was just considered a late developer. Now she's compusively counting everything in sight from the slats in the shutters to the perforated holes in the garden chairs.  Her bedtime routine is measured to an extreme  and there's a precise sequence to the order of things . It is difficult but she's amazing too , her hearing is extraordinary she can identify the sound the breaks of a  relatives car in busy traffic, even though she'd only been in the car twice.  I think it's important to tap into the skills and gifts our children have and try to get as much support as possible.

    Best wishes

    Kezercorn

     

     

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