Late Diagnosis

Hey,

Is the weather amazing lately or what? :)

I think from an early age I clocked on that I wasn't necessarily like other kids my age. I had very focused interests and wasn't particularly in alot of the same things my friends were. The diagnosis did explain alot, but truth be told I was always ok with who I am. I always liked the fact that I was different; I prefered staying in and reading a book than going out alot of the time.

I'm the same when you say autistic as you get older. I think my diagnosis really brought it out of me a bit more. It is hard to get used to, but at the same time, it is really liberating just being able to realise it. I haven't told many people except who I geniunely wanted and who needed to know. At work for example, my shop team know as does my area manager. But I don't want other shop teams or customers to know. I'm from a small town and I often worry that people will use it to make fun of me. There is always a lot of stigma attached to conditions you can't necessarily see. I want to try and avoid that. I live in a small town as well. A lot of people have known me for years and have always thought of me as a little odd, but I never knew until I went to uni that people could be nice and supportive. It's hard to try and break the expectation I've built up. I'm alot like my sister. The people we interact with, as far as we're concerned they are still the same horrible kids who threw stones at us on the school bus. Part of my overall issue is, because it took so long, I developed depression and anxiety as a teenager. It hasn't left me with particularly high self esteem. Couple that with AS, and it seems harder to try and get by. A couple of times recently at work, some people have turned round and said some really horrible things to me. I just want to tell them something, anything, just to make them see how they impact on me. I can't shrug it off like everyone else.

I wish I had known earlier. I think of myself as a strong person, but I hate how some people can make me feel a few inches tall. I once heard someone describe AS as social dyslexia and I wonder if I'll ever be able to get that esteem back or if I will be thrown by neuro-typicals.

Sorry for the ramble, this is me unloading. It's hard to try and describe this to people in my life. Except for my sister, no one else really understands.

Hey,

Is the weather amazing lately or what? :)

I think from an early age I clocked on that I wasn't necessarily like other kids my age. I had very focused interests and wasn't particularly in alot of the same things my friends were. The diagnosis did explain alot, but truth be told I was always ok with who I am. I always liked the fact that I was different; I prefered staying in and reading a book than going out alot of the time.

I'm the same when you say autistic as you get older. I think my diagnosis really brought it out of me a bit more. It is hard to get used to, but at the same time, it is really liberating just being able to realise it. I haven't told many people except who I geniunely wanted and who needed to know. At work for example, my shop team know as does my area manager. But I don't want other shop teams or customers to know. I'm from a small town and I often worry that people will use it to make fun of me. There is always a lot of stigma attached to conditions you can't necessarily see. I want to try and avoid that. I live in a small town as well. A lot of people have known me for years and have always thought of me as a little odd, but I never knew until I went to uni that people could be nice and supportive. It's hard to try and break the expectation I've built up. I'm alot like my sister. The people we interact with, as far as we're concerned they are still the same horrible kids who threw stones at us on the school bus. Part of my overall issue is, because it took so long, I developed depression and anxiety as a teenager. It hasn't left me with particularly high self esteem. Couple that with AS, and it seems harder to try and get by. A couple of times recently at work, some people have turned round and said some really horrible things to me. I just want to tell them something, anything, just to make them see how they impact on me. I can't shrug it off like everyone else.

I wish I had known earlier. I think of myself as a strong person, but I hate how some people can make me feel a few inches tall. I once heard someone describe AS as social dyslexia and I wonder if I'll ever be able to get that esteem back or if I will be thrown by neuro-typicals.

Sorry for the ramble, this is me unloading. It's hard to try and describe this to people in my life. Except for my sister, no one else really understands.