Published on 12, July, 2020
I am so unhappy at the moment. The reason is money, to be specific budgeting!! I am so rubbish at it, (I am on the benefits system AGAIN!) I make the same mistakes over and over again. (Decade after bloody decade!! Fortnight after Fortnight!!) End up running out of money, and having to either borrow some money or sell something (like a junkie.) Its like a OCD thing, a compulsion to wreck things financially whenever I can.
The problem is I am now feeling so low, negative and wishing I was dead. Is this common with people who have Aspergers syndrome? I want to cry, I want to die, I want to poke myself in the eye. I don't self harm other than over-eating, or eating food that upsets my bowels and stomach.
Do you know is this is something I can be cured of? It does not bode well for a good future for me, yet I am positive it is a brain malfunction thing. I so want to do better, I just can't I don't know how. It is so damn frustrating, it is driving me to tears literally!!!
Am I the only one who suffers like this? Where should I turn to for help with this? Can anyone really help me??
You need to be organised. Lists are your friend! If you honestly want to control your finances I recommend making an easy, basic budget plan. Write down:
1. how much money you have coming in
2. How much money is DEFINITELY going out e.g bills
Then see how much you have left over, so you will know exactly how much you can spend until your next pay day.
I write down everything I buy each month. If you do this you can look back over the list at the end of the month and see where you're going wrong/wasting your money.
It's also a good idea to take all of your benefit money out (I'm guessing you get paid 2-weekly) so you physically have it and have to hand it over each time you buy something. When people rely on cards it can sometimes not register that this is actual money.
Good luck!
About the depression...I think having things under control will help with your mental well being. You've been worrying about your finances, which will be contributing to your stress.
Also, you mentioned eating issues. Nutrition is so important for our brains to work properly. I've been reading this book:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Could-You-Overcoming-dyspraxia-Tourettes/dp/0753513390 which has a good section on nutrition for people with autism etc.
Take control of what you can. I understand it can be so difficult, but you need to give yourself the best possible chance.
I do eat really well, (well, except when I eat badly. lol Damn that Ronald!!) My housing is my main concern, and coming to the realisation that I will need some kind of assisted or supported living. I am hoping that my social worker will help me make it down that route. I don't want another attempt at making it on my own, 20+ failures in the last 30 years is enough for me to now admit, that I cannot live on my own.
Thanks again.