My son asked me if he was autistic today...

He's been told there's 'something wrong with him' by nasty kids in the past, and he is different from other kids. 

Really sweet, a bit awkward in terms of understanding personal boundaries (very touchy / feely, sometimes overwhelmingly so, I just think he loves physical contact), his speech is always the clearest and he repeats incorrect verbal formations until the cows come home. Literally spent last two years starting every sentence with 'Even...', and has only just stopped doing this, though it sometimes sneaks in.

We had him assessed by educational psychologist when he was in Y3 as he was struggling to get to grips with maths and english, and she diagnosed 'specific speech impairment', which explains the language processing issues.

His handwriting is terrible, but he works reasonably well when he's typing on word processor, and while his grades aren't amazing, he's keeping up with the average, albeit with huge input from us during homework. 

He still struggles socially, not picking up people's cues, but he is generally liked as he is really sweet, and the older years especiaally seem to make a fuss of him.

He ran his finger over a sharp blade and cut himself at hockey, and a dad who was watching asked him if he had autism. The dad in question has an autistic son. He came home and asked me what autism was, and whether he might have it, and I told him that we'd had him assessed and no one had ever suggested he did.

Then this aft, he came in and asked again, after misjudging a situation where a group of boys were goofing around - he thought they were play-fighting and joined in! 

I explained about physical boundaries and he nodded, but I can never tell if he's even in control of his impulses. I don't know if he is a tiny bit on the spectrum, what that means, what support I could be giving him,

or whether he's just a sweet, other-worldly, quite immature child for his age?

Parents
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Getting a diagnosis might satisfy curiosity or it might be required to resolve a problem. It need not pathologise because it can become a piece of information that you can use, or not, as the need arise. There is absolutely no need for it to become judegmental as a criticism of him or an excuse for his behaviour. You would not have to think about the diagnosis all of the time, he would not become disabled because of this label. Many people on this forum, such as myself, have found the information absolutely liberating and it has enabled some people to find a much happier path in life because it allows them to understand things in a different light.

    There is a difference between innate, intrinsic personality type and the behaviours that develop and are learnt and ingrained and encouraged or discouraged by contact with society. New good behaviours can be learnt and encouraged. His underlying autism, if he has it, is an immovable aspect of his personality that is one of the things that make him unique. When you talk about his quirks, are you describing his behaviours or his innate reflexes and abilities (or limits) to do different things? It may be that you cannot tell the difference and the question may make little sense until you have studied him, and other people for comparison, more.

    Perhaps you can give an example of something that you think is beyond acceptable in your mind?

Reply
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Getting a diagnosis might satisfy curiosity or it might be required to resolve a problem. It need not pathologise because it can become a piece of information that you can use, or not, as the need arise. There is absolutely no need for it to become judegmental as a criticism of him or an excuse for his behaviour. You would not have to think about the diagnosis all of the time, he would not become disabled because of this label. Many people on this forum, such as myself, have found the information absolutely liberating and it has enabled some people to find a much happier path in life because it allows them to understand things in a different light.

    There is a difference between innate, intrinsic personality type and the behaviours that develop and are learnt and ingrained and encouraged or discouraged by contact with society. New good behaviours can be learnt and encouraged. His underlying autism, if he has it, is an immovable aspect of his personality that is one of the things that make him unique. When you talk about his quirks, are you describing his behaviours or his innate reflexes and abilities (or limits) to do different things? It may be that you cannot tell the difference and the question may make little sense until you have studied him, and other people for comparison, more.

    Perhaps you can give an example of something that you think is beyond acceptable in your mind?

Children
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