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Hi, an emotional mummy here

Daisysmummy

Hello, I am new here. My baby girl is just over 2 and a half years old & just yesterday she had her first meeting with a pediatrician. He confirmed my fears about her not being the same as other children her age and said she is ASD. She cannot talk well & gets upset easily. He said she is not like other children and she does have some problems not just the one. I thought this all along but to hear somebody tell you things about your daughter is a real shock. I really thought that he would tell me she was ok just a bit behind. I know deep down and have for a year that somethings up but I am just feeling so bad right now.

I feel like I am screaming inside and I am frightened for her and for us. I keep wondering if I did something, if its my fault.

Is it normal to feel this way. The guillt of telling her off when she was having off days? 

I'm very tearful & I am sorry to come here and pester you lot I just don't know who else to talk to.

I want to stop this and get positive and help her. The doctor said to get her some cards to communicate and an egg timer to help her know that change is coming. 

Can anyone point me in the right direction? 

I really need a kick up the bum to quit feeling sorry for her/me and realise Nothing has changed, only a label.

Thanks for listening, Lin x

  • Hi there.

    My son was a bit older when he was diagnosed, but we had fun together creating some pictures to help him with things like toileting, which he was dreadful at. We took pictures together of the toilet, the paper, the flush, the sink, the soap, the towel and then put them in a strip on the computer and printed them out.

    Your daughter's needs might be different, but I bet you could still do some things together - which all help with forming a good relationship, something I didn't have with him for a good while.

    And yes, I felt guilt and wondered for ages what I'd done (perhaps when pregnant) to get this. I was, and still am sometimes scared about the future for him. But most of the time now it works out ok and he's a great kid. Just different.

    All the best!

  • Hi there.

    My son was a bit older when he was diagnosed, but we had fun together creating some pictures to help him with things like toileting, which he was dreadful at. We took pictures together of the toilet, the paper, the flush, the sink, the soap, the towel and then put them in a strip on the computer and printed them out.

    Your daughter's needs might be different, but I bet you could still do some things together - which all help with forming a good relationship, something I didn't have with him for a good while.

    And yes, I felt guilt and wondered for ages what I'd done (perhaps when pregnant) to get this. I was, and still am sometimes scared about the future for him. But most of the time now it works out ok and he's a great kid. Just different.

    All the best!

  • I've had a word with her nursery, they were lovely and are going to help make some cards to use at home and nursery :) 

  • Can you also make your daughter (I think you can buy them too) cards for her to communicate with?

  • Hi katie, thank you so much for your reply.

    That is a really good idea taking photos for her to show her whats happening next :) 

    I was diagnosed with adhd at the age of 30 I had no idea I had it but it really explained a lot about me. 

    I guess I am lucky that she is so little and it has been picked up.

    You have made me feel better already x

  • Hi,

    You sound a lot like my mum when we got told I had Aspergers Syndrome. I was only diagnosed september last year aged 17 and mum just kept on saying 'I'm so sorry baby I'm so sorry'. But I don't understand why she felt guilty. If she hadn't treated me the way I was (discipline etc) then I wouldn't have been able to 'fit in' to the extent that I have all my life.

    Change was one of the big problems when I was little, so my mum used to set up a strict routine, and would warn/put a note on the fridge/draw up a timetable thing with pictures to let me know when things are happening, that way I could be prepared.

    I know you can get the sort of picture cards you're after online, and probably egg timers too, you could even take photos of things in your own home i.e. a car, the sofa, her bedroom to turn into picture cards, car meaning, we're going out, sofa meaning tv time and her bedroom/bed bed time.

    Getting diagonsed isn't the end of the world. I struggled really badly socially all my life because I didn't express my real feelings as I didn't realise I was allowed to, but since the diagnosis, my mums been reading more to help her understand me a bit better, and has made changes to help me feel more relaxed at home.

    Hope things work out for you, and theres tons of posts on this forum to help you out. Good luck.

    Katie