Published on 12, July, 2020
So, I'm a bit confused at the minute and one minute I feel as if im doing the right thing, next I feel like a crazy mother creating an illness that isnt there and is my son just playing up?
My son is 8 years old and since he started hitting developmental milestones i always used to say to his father somethings not right. Social events became a no no due to my son being unable to cope with his surroundings and this would be displayed in naughty behaviour and meltdowns, even from the age 2.
Hes very literal, he does not understand metaphores, sayings or anything thats fictional. for instance someone said the other week 'i can tell you have a big heart' and whoosh that was it- 'you cant say that, you cant see my heart', even after explaining he still couldnt get his head around it. And thats just the icing on the cake when it comes to sayings. Out in public and to those who dont know his personality he comes across almost rude and arrogant at the things he says, or too inquistive and HAS to know everything, and sometimes if i cant explain (ie, why when he goes to france the stations are in french when the cars british, and radio signal/waves just doesnt cut it) i have to say we'll google it and then we have a few hours of finding out why, how etc.
Hes obsessed with times and dates, we recently moved house and because we were no longer walking from home to school we had the meltdowns in the morning as we didnt leave at 8.21am. if i dont wake him at certain times in the morning, that also creates problems?! Dates, everything has to be worked out and how many days. This might just be a child thing, but its something that sticks in his head and hes always working things out.
He hates change, when things change his quirky ways come out which can be percived as naughty behaviour-ie. wont put shoes on or wear them as thye itch, cant wear certain clothes as they irriate. LAst night was a classic, his baby brother went to his nanas a night early and was last minute so he was upset after school and but why he doesnt go on a wednesday night, then he wouldnt get in the bath as he baths every night when home with his baby brother and he simply couldnt do it as the baby wasnt here. Maybe its him being naughty and i need to put my foot down, or its the way in which he cannot deal with a change.
he recently got assessed by a social worker who said to me he shows mild signs of being autistic and maybe i should take him to the doctors, I did and the doctors have refered him to Cahms and Im to keep a diary and also ask the schoolfor a report, who have on numerous occasions expressed concerns over his work, his literal responces, how he can again come accross as arrogant, but to him it makes sence- he cant read a ficticion comprehension and answer the questions related to that, he has to give factual answers that are currently happening in the world/on the news/ what he knows. However, his teacher basically laughed at me and said shes seen worse whove been assessed and nothing wrong, and shed have noticed. So now i feel daft and maybe there isnt anything wrong with him. however, several people have often asked if ive ever had him assesed and maybe i need to.
Sorry about the essay, im just confused over whether im doing the right thing getting him assesed. Thanks.
As far as feeling confused about whether you are doing the right thing in terms of getting your son assessed for ASD, and given what you have described of you son's behavioural characteristics - which I very very much relate with personally - I am certain you have done exactly the right thing.