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Do prior records help or inhibit diagnosis?

IrkaBlue

I'm a 22 year old waiting for her assessment, and I'm guessing most of you know how hard the wait is, though, I'm fighting back after my supreme meltdown in December to get in work. Trying not to put my life on hold beyond avoiding returning to study until I get a diagnosis.  

I was assessed when I was a young child at the local neurodisability centre for children. So, ah, I'm guessing these will be on my medical records? 

- They believed I had learning difficulties (that was proven otherwise)

- I was discovered to have poor coordination and fine motor skills (I fall standing up)

- Repeatedly saw audiologist (not deaf, probably just shy)

- Speech and Language Therapist (they concluded it was muscle slackness behind my speech difficulties)

- Educational Psychologist

--

This was in the late 1990s and early 2000. My GP has since referred me for an Adult assessment when I confided in her that part of why I was depressed came down to me feeling alien no matter what. The wait is difficult and I'm wondering if these prior records will be useful or negative in how they influence the opinion of my assessor/s.  

I can't help but to overthink this, even though deep down, I know I have an AS disorder. There's always been an oddness to me, and there are too many traits of (ASD) with comorbid conditions, for me to feel as if I'm trying to label myself falsely ( which I thought for some years).  

Now, I can't help but worry that they'll think I'm attention seeking? Or think I know better than professionals. I feel that I began to mask too soon (I had older sisters to copy), and my tomboyish was because (my first few pre-school friends were boys). I'm frustrated. But I know that most girls with Autism tended to present with learning difficulties (as far as most were concerned).  So, certainly, I'm rather frustrated that I believe I was 'missed', even though, naturally, I do understand the factors that would have contributed to it. 

I'm a researcher by study, started out in Psychology, so I like to think I can be objective in my own 'self-diagnosis'. I'm just so scared of exposing how vulnerable I really am by being completely honest. I feel a bit like a helpless child again, or maybe I never properly grew out of that immature part of myself? I've always felt this odd mix of 'old soul/naive child'.  

Has anyone had a similiar experience, or have any guesses on how this could work out? 

-Irka 

Parents
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Dear IrkaBlue,

    It is very clear from your posts that you care deeply about things and that you are fundamentally a good person. Never forget this, this is more important than anything else. Your parents know this and it sounds as though they will stick with you through thick and thin.

    Employers are always looking for people who care. You will find a position where you can put this care to good use.

    Trying to find a position whilst, at the same time, going through diagnosis and discovering more about yourself, and also trying to untangle your anxieties and issues, might not be the best use of your energies at the moment. You have to be kind to yourself and give yourself some time to come to terms with, and learn how to deal with, a diagnosis.

    I was diagnosed 3 years ago and had to change jobs and to begin with I found a job that was worse than the one that triggered my breakdown and diagnosis. In the end I walked away because the situation was just too stressful to bear. Now that I have found yet another job and had time to work out what the diagnosis means, I am much less stressed, have much rarer anxiety attacks and am in a very different mental place to where I was 3 years ago.

    It took well over a hundred job applications, and a dozen or so interviews before I found my new job but eventually I have found a position where I fit in well and my skills are valued. If you got Longman's post then you should look at a wide variety of jobs and look for the opportunity in each rather than being prejudiced by the images that you might have picked up over the years.

    Do not despair, give yourself some time and try to be less critical of yourself. People with Aspergers are often critical and it can be put to good use sometimes but it can be destructive when you turn the criticism on yourself.

Reply
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Dear IrkaBlue,

    It is very clear from your posts that you care deeply about things and that you are fundamentally a good person. Never forget this, this is more important than anything else. Your parents know this and it sounds as though they will stick with you through thick and thin.

    Employers are always looking for people who care. You will find a position where you can put this care to good use.

    Trying to find a position whilst, at the same time, going through diagnosis and discovering more about yourself, and also trying to untangle your anxieties and issues, might not be the best use of your energies at the moment. You have to be kind to yourself and give yourself some time to come to terms with, and learn how to deal with, a diagnosis.

    I was diagnosed 3 years ago and had to change jobs and to begin with I found a job that was worse than the one that triggered my breakdown and diagnosis. In the end I walked away because the situation was just too stressful to bear. Now that I have found yet another job and had time to work out what the diagnosis means, I am much less stressed, have much rarer anxiety attacks and am in a very different mental place to where I was 3 years ago.

    It took well over a hundred job applications, and a dozen or so interviews before I found my new job but eventually I have found a position where I fit in well and my skills are valued. If you got Longman's post then you should look at a wide variety of jobs and look for the opportunity in each rather than being prejudiced by the images that you might have picked up over the years.

    Do not despair, give yourself some time and try to be less critical of yourself. People with Aspergers are often critical and it can be put to good use sometimes but it can be destructive when you turn the criticism on yourself.

Children
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