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Do prior records help or inhibit diagnosis?

IrkaBlue

I'm a 22 year old waiting for her assessment, and I'm guessing most of you know how hard the wait is, though, I'm fighting back after my supreme meltdown in December to get in work. Trying not to put my life on hold beyond avoiding returning to study until I get a diagnosis.  

I was assessed when I was a young child at the local neurodisability centre for children. So, ah, I'm guessing these will be on my medical records? 

- They believed I had learning difficulties (that was proven otherwise)

- I was discovered to have poor coordination and fine motor skills (I fall standing up)

- Repeatedly saw audiologist (not deaf, probably just shy)

- Speech and Language Therapist (they concluded it was muscle slackness behind my speech difficulties)

- Educational Psychologist

--

This was in the late 1990s and early 2000. My GP has since referred me for an Adult assessment when I confided in her that part of why I was depressed came down to me feeling alien no matter what. The wait is difficult and I'm wondering if these prior records will be useful or negative in how they influence the opinion of my assessor/s.  

I can't help but to overthink this, even though deep down, I know I have an AS disorder. There's always been an oddness to me, and there are too many traits of (ASD) with comorbid conditions, for me to feel as if I'm trying to label myself falsely ( which I thought for some years).  

Now, I can't help but worry that they'll think I'm attention seeking? Or think I know better than professionals. I feel that I began to mask too soon (I had older sisters to copy), and my tomboyish was because (my first few pre-school friends were boys). I'm frustrated. But I know that most girls with Autism tended to present with learning difficulties (as far as most were concerned).  So, certainly, I'm rather frustrated that I believe I was 'missed', even though, naturally, I do understand the factors that would have contributed to it. 

I'm a researcher by study, started out in Psychology, so I like to think I can be objective in my own 'self-diagnosis'. I'm just so scared of exposing how vulnerable I really am by being completely honest. I feel a bit like a helpless child again, or maybe I never properly grew out of that immature part of myself? I've always felt this odd mix of 'old soul/naive child'.  

Has anyone had a similiar experience, or have any guesses on how this could work out? 

-Irka 

Parents

  • Deepthought:

    My mother will be accompanying me when I have my assessment. If she is unable to, then I have two older sisters who would be able stand in.  I have been referred and the average waiting time is 26-30 weeks according to a Freedom of Information request answer for my NHS board area.  Nearly double the official waiting time. This was based mostly on 2015 figures as the 2016 figures were not yet all available at the time the request was answered. My GP was under the impression I should be getting one fairly soon, though, as there has been an investment in my area in recent years. I'm not so confident after my research.   

    Recombinantsocks:

    It actually does. I don't normally feel reassured when people try and talk me out of my nonstop worrying. It usually only makes me worse off. That said, since being on antidepressants, I've found that my mind isn't as frantic. I'm not hitting my usual level of anxiety over every basic thing. I don't know if that comes from admitting I wasn't coping, and receiving support I never expected (a lot of misunderstandings with family are now understood).

    I always felt like I was so alone and that nobody would understand. That they wouldn't care or believe. I was wrong and with my honesty, they have been nothing but supportive.  I just felt like I was the problem and my inability to adapt properly and 'grow out' of my problems was on me. Even though, for years I've always known that how I think, perceive and process things isn't 'normal'. It just became more apparent in my mid-teens (to me) that it wasn't shyness or just lack of confidence...it wasn't something I could replace with learning.  

    Thank you, both of you, for taking the time to respond.

    I've gone quite obsessive lately, whereas before I was resistant to even reading the 'Autism' word. I avoided people talking about it. Television shows. Books. Awareness Campaigns. Only to have an hour where all I could do was research it. To understand! Because I didn't want to acknowledge that I might not be able to 'fix' what I perceive as glaring flaws in me. I guess I should add that I know I'm extremely self critical. 

Reply

  • Deepthought:

    My mother will be accompanying me when I have my assessment. If she is unable to, then I have two older sisters who would be able stand in.  I have been referred and the average waiting time is 26-30 weeks according to a Freedom of Information request answer for my NHS board area.  Nearly double the official waiting time. This was based mostly on 2015 figures as the 2016 figures were not yet all available at the time the request was answered. My GP was under the impression I should be getting one fairly soon, though, as there has been an investment in my area in recent years. I'm not so confident after my research.   

    Recombinantsocks:

    It actually does. I don't normally feel reassured when people try and talk me out of my nonstop worrying. It usually only makes me worse off. That said, since being on antidepressants, I've found that my mind isn't as frantic. I'm not hitting my usual level of anxiety over every basic thing. I don't know if that comes from admitting I wasn't coping, and receiving support I never expected (a lot of misunderstandings with family are now understood).

    I always felt like I was so alone and that nobody would understand. That they wouldn't care or believe. I was wrong and with my honesty, they have been nothing but supportive.  I just felt like I was the problem and my inability to adapt properly and 'grow out' of my problems was on me. Even though, for years I've always known that how I think, perceive and process things isn't 'normal'. It just became more apparent in my mid-teens (to me) that it wasn't shyness or just lack of confidence...it wasn't something I could replace with learning.  

    Thank you, both of you, for taking the time to respond.

    I've gone quite obsessive lately, whereas before I was resistant to even reading the 'Autism' word. I avoided people talking about it. Television shows. Books. Awareness Campaigns. Only to have an hour where all I could do was research it. To understand! Because I didn't want to acknowledge that I might not be able to 'fix' what I perceive as glaring flaws in me. I guess I should add that I know I'm extremely self critical. 

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