Shaking hands with the unemployed...

I haven't come across this rather witty euphemism either!  I'm glad you also refer to it as "self-pleasure" rather than the stupid term "self-abuse" used in books when I was a boy.

I wonder if your medication is reducing your libido and therefore delaying ejaculation.  Unfortunately, it's a common side-effect of anti-depressants and some other prescription drugs.

It sounds like it's more of a chore than a pleasurable act for you?  Do you need to speed it up due to privacy concerns?  Ideally, one needs to be relaxed and unhurried with no fear of disturbance.  Be clear that what you are doing is perfectly natural and normal and should be an enjoyable experience.  Try experimenting with your body in different positions - lying on your back may be the most relaxing.

Your urge to climax will normally be governed by a combination of erotic thoughts (possibly encouraged by visual and/or aural stimulus) and the physical action of your hand(s).  I don't know how much sexual detail is allowed on this site, but if you Google something like "male masturbation techniques" you should find plenty tips on men's health websites. 

You may find using a lubricant helps - a bottle of baby oil from a supermarket is perhaps the cheapest.  This will also prevent any soreness if the procedure is taking a long time.

As for "disposing of the evidence" (which makes it sound like a crime!) toilet roll or flushable tissues are perhaps the best answer if you can't do your own washing.  They do tend to disintegrate however and you'll also need to wash any appropriate areas of your body.  You may find other suggestions on men's health forums.

Incidentally, the semen discharge you mention while on the loo is quite normal (even without venlafaxine) if you are not ejaculating regularly.  It now seems to be generally acknowledged that frequent ejaculation is beneficial to prostate health, so that's a very good reason even if you have no other!

I haven't come across this rather witty euphemism either!  I'm glad you also refer to it as "self-pleasure" rather than the stupid term "self-abuse" used in books when I was a boy.

I wonder if your medication is reducing your libido and therefore delaying ejaculation.  Unfortunately, it's a common side-effect of anti-depressants and some other prescription drugs.

It sounds like it's more of a chore than a pleasurable act for you?  Do you need to speed it up due to privacy concerns?  Ideally, one needs to be relaxed and unhurried with no fear of disturbance.  Be clear that what you are doing is perfectly natural and normal and should be an enjoyable experience.  Try experimenting with your body in different positions - lying on your back may be the most relaxing.

Your urge to climax will normally be governed by a combination of erotic thoughts (possibly encouraged by visual and/or aural stimulus) and the physical action of your hand(s).  I don't know how much sexual detail is allowed on this site, but if you Google something like "male masturbation techniques" you should find plenty tips on men's health websites. 

You may find using a lubricant helps - a bottle of baby oil from a supermarket is perhaps the cheapest.  This will also prevent any soreness if the procedure is taking a long time.

As for "disposing of the evidence" (which makes it sound like a crime!) toilet roll or flushable tissues are perhaps the best answer if you can't do your own washing.  They do tend to disintegrate however and you'll also need to wash any appropriate areas of your body.  You may find other suggestions on men's health forums.

Incidentally, the semen discharge you mention while on the loo is quite normal (even without venlafaxine) if you are not ejaculating regularly.  It now seems to be generally acknowledged that frequent ejaculation is beneficial to prostate health, so that's a very good reason even if you have no other!