Confused about if my son has autism and desperate for answers

Yesterday my son's teacher called us into school and quite high handily told us that my son is failing in all areas of learning. That he get very anxious when anything changes and that he was putting his hand in his mouth all the time as a comfort I suppose. She said she had told him he can't do that as the other children had started to notice and he had stopped that behaviour. She had previously advised that he had a speech delay and he is on the list for speech and language therapy but now she has advised the waiting list is to long and we must go back to our GP and request an appointment with a padiatrician so we can been seen quickly. She advised that he is socially undeveloped and only really plays with one other boy who he is very close to and who speaks for him a lot which she say hinders his development further. She also said that he cannot follow instructions for example if she tells the children to go get there coats he will stay seated while all the other children do as instructed. He is never any trouble in the way that he doesn't have tantrums at school or at home. Now I have read here that behaviour at home and school can be different but I will be honest when I look at how he is at home to what she is describing I feel like she is talking about someone else. It doesn't seem to me like how different behaviour is described on this website. My son is very loving with his family he doesn't seem to have a lot of anxiety. He is funny likes to tell jokes and loves to play games with you sometimes he tires you out wanting to run around with you playing hide and seek and Chase. He has a couple of cousins that he loves to see and always asks to go play with them. He does worry about trying new things sometimes for example he got a new bike for Christmas and was a bit wary of it but once I took him out a couple of times he loved it. I just can't reconcile this home life with his school life. Could anyone give me an insights that would help me understand I am so upset by the whole thing. My son is only in reception and he is one of the youngest in his year. At home he shows an aptitude for his work at school in as far as he seems to understand it. Even the delayed speech came as a shock because he has always been so chatty and easy to understand at home.

Parents
  • The Doctor refused to refer my son to a pediatrician. We told him what he was like at home and he said he wasn't going on what someone who sees him for 6 hours a day has to say about him.  He was not impressed by us being told by her to get him referred. He said if we had no concerns (which we didn't before this) then he could see no medical reason to make the referral. I was happy about this at first and told the teacher exactly how I felt about the whole thing and how it was all very upsetting. The doctor said that the teacher needs to build up his confidence in the school environment as he is obviously unhappy within it. I am still very worried though why is he upset and what are they going to do next. I have lost faith in the school and his teacher and I am so stressed out. He is on the list for a speech and language therapist which I will leave him on but obviously that takes a while. I still feel like there is nothing going on with him but I don't know what to do now. He is a shy boy and I think the teacher is putting to much pressure on him.  He is one of the youngest in the class and it seems they don't allow for children that take a little longer to settle. 

Reply
  • The Doctor refused to refer my son to a pediatrician. We told him what he was like at home and he said he wasn't going on what someone who sees him for 6 hours a day has to say about him.  He was not impressed by us being told by her to get him referred. He said if we had no concerns (which we didn't before this) then he could see no medical reason to make the referral. I was happy about this at first and told the teacher exactly how I felt about the whole thing and how it was all very upsetting. The doctor said that the teacher needs to build up his confidence in the school environment as he is obviously unhappy within it. I am still very worried though why is he upset and what are they going to do next. I have lost faith in the school and his teacher and I am so stressed out. He is on the list for a speech and language therapist which I will leave him on but obviously that takes a while. I still feel like there is nothing going on with him but I don't know what to do now. He is a shy boy and I think the teacher is putting to much pressure on him.  He is one of the youngest in the class and it seems they don't allow for children that take a little longer to settle. 

Children
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