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Will my recently diagnosed HF Autism/Aspergers 4 year old resent me for getting him diagnosed when he's older?

Izzer

My 4 and a half year old has just this week been confirmed to have high functioning autism. 

i don't really feel bad about getting him diagnosed as I'm hoping a diagnosis will aid understanding of him throughout his education. However he has been classed as quite mildly autistic and won't get a statement of special needs or whatever that's called now. I was told that as he is mild he will not qualify for the school to get extra funding for him which to be honest I was a bit surprised about as it's clear he will need additional support especially with social skills help. 

He is super intelligent and hyperlexic he can read totally freely and the other kids in his reception class are only just getting to grips with reading books with only three simple words in them. He has an amazing memory and has certain fixations which have morphed through the years ie. Washing machines, fans, robot vacuum cleaners and most recently cars (hooray something his class mates can relate to at last!)

He is not shy and tries his hardest to be sociable but is very clunky in his approach with peers.

My question is because he has been seen to be mildly autistic do you think he will resent me for getting him diagnosed when he is older? Or do you think he will be happy as it will  mean he can understand himself more and embrace his uniqueness?

The fact that he apparently won't receive any additional funding for the school to support him in education makes me wonder if it's worth getting him officially diagnosed or if the fact we know he has been assessed as being on the spectrum is enough  Will an official diagnosis really benefit him throughout his education? Are there laws protecting him if he's officially diagnosed and proper protocol the teachers have to adhere to if he is officially diagnosed as opposed to unofficially? If you see what I mean?

Are there any adults out there who had been officially diagnosed as a child and wish they weren't and that just knowing without an official diagnosis was enough?

Sorry I'm rambling on now! Thanks for looking. 

Parents

  • I don't think he could logically resent you. It's how he was born. If you hadn't have pushed for assessment, it's more than likely a school would have forced you. As they just think about the chances of receiving extra funding. To benefit their school. It's become a very common issue in schools these days. With many teachers being primed to report suspected 'cases'. They may even have involved children's services if you'd have refused for him to be assessed.

    Knowing can help you deal with future issues. Keeping your bond strong. As you will know why certain behaviour develops & what you can do to help. You will stay his first go to for support.

    But I agree that you need to be really careful about who you share his diagnosis with. Especially until he can fully decide for himself.

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  • I don't think he could logically resent you. It's how he was born. If you hadn't have pushed for assessment, it's more than likely a school would have forced you. As they just think about the chances of receiving extra funding. To benefit their school. It's become a very common issue in schools these days. With many teachers being primed to report suspected 'cases'. They may even have involved children's services if you'd have refused for him to be assessed.

    Knowing can help you deal with future issues. Keeping your bond strong. As you will know why certain behaviour develops & what you can do to help. You will stay his first go to for support.

    But I agree that you need to be really careful about who you share his diagnosis with. Especially until he can fully decide for himself.

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