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Will my recently diagnosed HF Autism/Aspergers 4 year old resent me for getting him diagnosed when he's older?

Izzer

My 4 and a half year old has just this week been confirmed to have high functioning autism. 

i don't really feel bad about getting him diagnosed as I'm hoping a diagnosis will aid understanding of him throughout his education. However he has been classed as quite mildly autistic and won't get a statement of special needs or whatever that's called now. I was told that as he is mild he will not qualify for the school to get extra funding for him which to be honest I was a bit surprised about as it's clear he will need additional support especially with social skills help. 

He is super intelligent and hyperlexic he can read totally freely and the other kids in his reception class are only just getting to grips with reading books with only three simple words in them. He has an amazing memory and has certain fixations which have morphed through the years ie. Washing machines, fans, robot vacuum cleaners and most recently cars (hooray something his class mates can relate to at last!)

He is not shy and tries his hardest to be sociable but is very clunky in his approach with peers.

My question is because he has been seen to be mildly autistic do you think he will resent me for getting him diagnosed when he is older? Or do you think he will be happy as it will  mean he can understand himself more and embrace his uniqueness?

The fact that he apparently won't receive any additional funding for the school to support him in education makes me wonder if it's worth getting him officially diagnosed or if the fact we know he has been assessed as being on the spectrum is enough  Will an official diagnosis really benefit him throughout his education? Are there laws protecting him if he's officially diagnosed and proper protocol the teachers have to adhere to if he is officially diagnosed as opposed to unofficially? If you see what I mean?

Are there any adults out there who had been officially diagnosed as a child and wish they weren't and that just knowing without an official diagnosis was enough?

Sorry I'm rambling on now! Thanks for looking. 

Parents

  • Hi,

    I don't feel he would have any resent for you pursuing the diagnosis. I wish I had been diagnosed much younger (Diagnosed at 49). I would be a bit weary about letting other people know as there will be people who will pickup and potentially exploit your son's social weaknesses. 

    I am not sure if there is much you can teach about social skills, though I remember my late mother telling me to look at people when I talked to them. It more about learning how to hide your differences, rather than learning social skills. 

    Best thing I feel when he is older would be to get him involved in some group relating to his interests (only if he want too). I was a huge fan of aviation, and I should have joined RAF cadets, it would have made a difference for me.

    I remember my struggles socialising when I was growing up, and my mum tried to help me. My mum passed away before my diagnosis, and it would have answered why I was struggling. Had we had known then, I think we could have made a bit more progress, and would have made our lives easier, but it would not have "fixed" my social weaknesses. 

    First time I have heard the term Hyperlexic, and I was ahead in my reading capability.

    Best Wishes,

    Random

Reply

  • Hi,

    I don't feel he would have any resent for you pursuing the diagnosis. I wish I had been diagnosed much younger (Diagnosed at 49). I would be a bit weary about letting other people know as there will be people who will pickup and potentially exploit your son's social weaknesses. 

    I am not sure if there is much you can teach about social skills, though I remember my late mother telling me to look at people when I talked to them. It more about learning how to hide your differences, rather than learning social skills. 

    Best thing I feel when he is older would be to get him involved in some group relating to his interests (only if he want too). I was a huge fan of aviation, and I should have joined RAF cadets, it would have made a difference for me.

    I remember my struggles socialising when I was growing up, and my mum tried to help me. My mum passed away before my diagnosis, and it would have answered why I was struggling. Had we had known then, I think we could have made a bit more progress, and would have made our lives easier, but it would not have "fixed" my social weaknesses. 

    First time I have heard the term Hyperlexic, and I was ahead in my reading capability.

    Best Wishes,

    Random

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