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Will my recently diagnosed HF Autism/Aspergers 4 year old resent me for getting him diagnosed when he's older?

Izzer

My 4 and a half year old has just this week been confirmed to have high functioning autism. 

i don't really feel bad about getting him diagnosed as I'm hoping a diagnosis will aid understanding of him throughout his education. However he has been classed as quite mildly autistic and won't get a statement of special needs or whatever that's called now. I was told that as he is mild he will not qualify for the school to get extra funding for him which to be honest I was a bit surprised about as it's clear he will need additional support especially with social skills help. 

He is super intelligent and hyperlexic he can read totally freely and the other kids in his reception class are only just getting to grips with reading books with only three simple words in them. He has an amazing memory and has certain fixations which have morphed through the years ie. Washing machines, fans, robot vacuum cleaners and most recently cars (hooray something his class mates can relate to at last!)

He is not shy and tries his hardest to be sociable but is very clunky in his approach with peers.

My question is because he has been seen to be mildly autistic do you think he will resent me for getting him diagnosed when he is older? Or do you think he will be happy as it will  mean he can understand himself more and embrace his uniqueness?

The fact that he apparently won't receive any additional funding for the school to support him in education makes me wonder if it's worth getting him officially diagnosed or if the fact we know he has been assessed as being on the spectrum is enough  Will an official diagnosis really benefit him throughout his education? Are there laws protecting him if he's officially diagnosed and proper protocol the teachers have to adhere to if he is officially diagnosed as opposed to unofficially? If you see what I mean?

Are there any adults out there who had been officially diagnosed as a child and wish they weren't and that just knowing without an official diagnosis was enough?

Sorry I'm rambling on now! Thanks for looking. 

Parents

  • Hi Izzer

    I highly doubt there will be any resentment, if there are any negative feelings later in his life, they will be short-lived, understanding more about himself will aid him immensely through life.

    I personally haven't ever been diagnosed, even though I showed many signs when I was younger, the most I ever was ever investigated for was selective mutism. This meant when I started to become more self-aware as I got older I got very frustrated with myself for not being able to socialise and communicate with people as well as others. My parents questioned why I didn't have any friends like my brother who in contrast was very popular. I was regularly bullied and had many people ask me why I couldn't just be normal, a question I asked myself almost every day.

    I think if I had a diagnosis I would have looked at things differently, valued my achievements, saw the positive steps I took to try and integrate better even though it was so very difficult for me. In a way, I believe knowing there was something different about me, that was outside of my control, would have made me feel like less of a failure for not being able to socialise like everyone else.

    I can't answer a lot of your questions in the last paragraph as I'm not familiar with the relevant laws, but I can assure you that what you have done so far is in the best interest of your son and you shouldn't feel in any way guilty.

    I hope someone can respond and answer what I have been unable to. I also hope someone can provide you with the perspective you are looking for, rather than one of someone who wasn't diagnosed and wished they were.

    All the best

    Forest

Reply

  • Hi Izzer

    I highly doubt there will be any resentment, if there are any negative feelings later in his life, they will be short-lived, understanding more about himself will aid him immensely through life.

    I personally haven't ever been diagnosed, even though I showed many signs when I was younger, the most I ever was ever investigated for was selective mutism. This meant when I started to become more self-aware as I got older I got very frustrated with myself for not being able to socialise and communicate with people as well as others. My parents questioned why I didn't have any friends like my brother who in contrast was very popular. I was regularly bullied and had many people ask me why I couldn't just be normal, a question I asked myself almost every day.

    I think if I had a diagnosis I would have looked at things differently, valued my achievements, saw the positive steps I took to try and integrate better even though it was so very difficult for me. In a way, I believe knowing there was something different about me, that was outside of my control, would have made me feel like less of a failure for not being able to socialise like everyone else.

    I can't answer a lot of your questions in the last paragraph as I'm not familiar with the relevant laws, but I can assure you that what you have done so far is in the best interest of your son and you shouldn't feel in any way guilty.

    I hope someone can respond and answer what I have been unable to. I also hope someone can provide you with the perspective you are looking for, rather than one of someone who wasn't diagnosed and wished they were.

    All the best

    Forest

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