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New and getting diagnosis

aspertic

hello,

I'm new to this forum. I am 54 years old and have had (yesterday), the first part of a two-stage diagnostic process. 

The consultant was very nice, but I feel quite flat about the whole thing. It was almost like I had to justify myself. I recognise much of the Asperger characteristics and it has helped me understand a lot of my life up to now. The next part of the process takes place in a month and will involve "things to do". I'm not sure what this means. I am feeling anxious about the whole thing now. Another thing to fuel anxiety.

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  • aspertic said:

     As I said, I became resigned to, "well, this is how I am, this is how it is to me". That eventually led to me attempting to kill myself, waking up very angry in hospital, being spotted by an alert professional and referred for diagnosis. At first I didn't like the idea, but it makes so much sense of the rest of my life.

    I've never gone quite that far but I have had thoughts of suicide simply as a means to escape my 'prison' of isolation. It's like existing in a social desert when you know there are 'oases' of relief but don't seem to have access to them.

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  • aspertic said:

     As I said, I became resigned to, "well, this is how I am, this is how it is to me". That eventually led to me attempting to kill myself, waking up very angry in hospital, being spotted by an alert professional and referred for diagnosis. At first I didn't like the idea, but it makes so much sense of the rest of my life.

    I've never gone quite that far but I have had thoughts of suicide simply as a means to escape my 'prison' of isolation. It's like existing in a social desert when you know there are 'oases' of relief but don't seem to have access to them.

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